Wearing A Skirt Is Like
by Deaths.Last.Prayer
Summary: Dying a little on the inside. Naruto supposed it was his own fault for letting his twin con him into swapping places with her for a week. Who knew he'd be the center of attention to three ice bastards he'd written off long ago. Who knew it'd be fun? SxN
1. Becoming A Lady

**Disclaimer: **I hold no ownership over any piece of the Naruto franchise nor do I profit from my lovely plots.

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**Warning:** _Slash (which shouldn't be a warning but meh)_. _Language. Adult themes. Rating will increase. AU._

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**Pairings: **SasuNaru (main). Others...

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**WEARING ****A SKIRT IS LIKE…**

_One: Becoming A Lady_**  
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Naruto glanced away from his magazine to stare at his twin. "What do you want?"

Ino smiled sweetly as she sat at the edge of her brother's bed. "How would you like to do me a favor?"

"Depends… what do you want and what am I getting out of?" Making a deal with Ino was like making a deal with the devil and Naruto knew that he would have to tread lightly. Very lightly or else he'd end up with the short end of the stick.

"Just hear me out before you say no." Ino moved closer and took a deep breath as she pulled forth her best reserved puppy dog face. "I need you to go to school for me but it's only for a week and you don't start school until a whole two weeks after I do so it really wouldn't take up much of your time and I never really ask you for anything and I really, really, want to go to Miami with Sakura-"

Naruto held up his hand and Ino paused mid ramble. "Give me a second to think about it." He watched her squirm for a minute or two before he felt satisfied enough to say, "No." Why the hell would he choose to go to school when he didn't have to? That would be downright stupid.

He loved his sister and would do pretty much anything in the world for the girl but trading places... at their current age...? They hadn't switched with each other since they were in elementary school when it was easier to get away with that kind of thing but now…. Now she was just being ridiculous. Looking alike could only get them so far, twins or not. Not only that, Naruto didn't know why Ino would possibly think that he would want to be stuck at the preppy and obnoxious Garden Private Academy while she got to go on some fabulous adventure with her friends. Naruto had a life too, he had friends, and he still had two weeks of summer vacation left -he didn't plan on wasting it.

Another thing, how the hell would they even get away with trading places?

Their parents weren't stupid.

Kakashi might go along with it because he enjoyed it when they expressed themselves and tried new things. In fact, their dad would probably encourage them to switch as a means to experience "walking a mile in the others shoes" or he'd push the idea of them "spreading their wings"… some bullshit along those lines. Iruka, on the other hand, would literally shit bricks if he even got wind of Ino's little scheme. There would be hell to pay even if they didn't go through with it because their papa would bitch on the basis that they'd dared to plan such a devious plot.

And most of the blame would be placed on him for the sole fact that he was usually the disobedient child.

All in all, Naruto didn't think it was worth it. "Yep, definitely no."

Ino pouted and grabbed onto Naruto's arm. "Please Naru! Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…. This would be the only real vacation I've had all summer and Sakura's parents are paying for everything. Everything Naru! You know how much I love free things and I'd bring you back a ton of free shit if you let me go. Please Naru, this is really important to me?" Bright turquoise eyes began to glisten with unshed tears as Ino pulled out her A-game. At this rate, she would need to pull out all of the stops to sway Naruto.

Naruto chanced one glimpse at his twin and regretted it. It was obvious that this trip really was as important to her as she was making it out to be. Still... "Fine. But you owe me big for this."

Ino squealed and tackled Naruto into a hug, his face lost amongst her bosom. A grin big enough for the both of them split across her face as she squeezed the life out of him.

She knew she'd win, she always won.

Ino was nine minutes younger than Naruto which deemed her the baby of the house as well as the only female- it would be a sin if she didn't get everything that she wanted. Despite Naruto's pigheadedness and the fact that he knew her better than anyone else, even he failed to turn her down most of the time.

"Alright, alright, get off me." Naruto sat up, thankful that he was being given a chance to breath. "What do I have to do?" He leaned against his headboard and sighed. It was going to be a very long night.

* * *

Silver eyes were focused on the pictures adorning the vast wall behind the television but there was one in particular that they couldn't stray from. It was a picture of two small blond toddlers playing in a pile of leaves with the biggest and brightest smiles plastered on their faces. That was Kakashi's favorite pictures (his favorite memory as well) because it was taken on the day that he and Iruka had finalized the adoption of Naruto and Ino Uzumaki.

He remembered meeting them for the first time and he knew it was a match made in heaven. The moment he'd stared into identical pairs of cobalt irises Kakashi just knew that he wanted to give them the world. He knew that he would love them and care for them as if he'd provided the seed that aided in their creation. And now… he wouldn't give them up for anything or anyone.

But times were changing and with that, his children were changing as well.

Ino was his princess, his baby girl, who was bright well beyond expectation with a heart made of gold. She had a knack for getting people to do her bidding and her obsessive tendencies were endearing. She went to a prestigious private academy in order to pursue some flashy doctor career after high school and she was excelling in following that dream.

Naruto was Kakashi's little boy- a young man that he was proud to call his son because he knew with absolute certainty that Naruto was going to change the world. The boy was just as intelligent as Ino but he had a spunk, an energy, that couldn't be contained or controlled by anyone or anything. Naruto's empathy and sympathetic disposition drove him in a way that motivated others and his charisma brought any gloomy moment to life. He attended a renowned arts academy, a place that suited his colorful spirit just fine.

Ino and Naruto were twins with differing personalities and ambitions that were made obvious by the different paths they'd chosen to follow over the years. They had different types of friends, different goals, and different plans for their future but that was to be expected because they were two different people. Like dawn and dusk… so different yet so similar all at once. Sometimes it was hard for Kakashi to remember just how different they were considering that, where his children were so alike stood out far more than their differences prevailed. Their most obvious similarity was their nearly identical appearance down to even their height (much to Naruto's dismay). They also had the same smile, laugh, pout, violent tendencies when prompted, and they complained in the same fashion.

To Kakashi's amusement, they tended to do all of those things in absolute harmony despite their protest on the matter.

That was fine with him.

Ino and Naruto were _his_ spoiled brats, his babies, and he would die for them without a second thought.

Which was why he was having a hard time thinking about them growing up and moving on with their lives. They were such good kids and would soon grow to be phenomenal adults… time had moved by so fast and Kakashi didn't like it. He wasn't ready to send his children out into the wolves den once the school year ended, not yet. He wasn't ready to be left alone with their picture wall as a reminder of all their growth spurts, all of their happy moments, and everything in between.

If only he had some more time to value what little piece of their childhood that he had left he'd grasp it and never let go...

"Nostalgic much?" Iruka sat beside his husband and smiled as he loosened his apron. It wouldn't hurt to let dinner wait a few minutes.

Kakashi sighed as he glanced at his husband before glancing back at the photos on the wall. "The kids are going off to college at the end of this school year." Gray eyes lingered on the very first picture that they'd placed on the wall.

"Hmm… I'm the one who usually thinks about the kids growing up and running off to do God knows what." Iruka's hand touched Kakashi's chin as he gently turned the man's face, their eyes meeting. "What's really bothering you?" Iruka slid into his husband's lap and tenderly kissed the man's furrowed brow.

"Do you think they'll still need us once they leave for college?" It wasn't everyday that Kakashi had negative thoughts, in fact, it was a very rare occasion, but after the phone call he'd received that afternoon, he'd been thinking about a lot of things.

Iruka bristled, stunned at even hearing Kakashi voice such a ridiculous question. "Of course they will! Why wouldn't they?" He didn't understand what Kakashi's problem was and the only conclusion he could come to was that the man had watched Bambi again. That particular movie always made him sentimental and contemplative for reasons none of them understood.

Kakashi smiled and placed a kiss to Iruka's temple. "Ah, it's not important Ru." Ashen eyes glanced in the direction of the kitchen where gray smoke was wafting into the dining room. "But dinner is and you might want to go check on that."

Chestnut irises widened as Iruka stood and quickly fixed his apron. "Damn it, I hope I didn't burn anything." Iruka rushed into the kitchen leaving Kakashi to himself.

"**ORANGE! LEMON! IT'S TIME FOR DINNER!**" Kakashi stood, his eyes scanning the family photo wall one last time. "Let's see what this year will bring us."

* * *

Naruto studied the clothes Ino was placing on her bed, carefully committing to memory which outfit was for which day. He had switched places with Ino plenty of times when they were younger but his mind couldn't quite wrap around how they were going to pull it off now and for such a long period of time. Sure, they were the same height and nearly the same build (to his chagrin) but how were they going to explain his piercings and tattoos? How the hell was he supposed to change or shower in the locker room after gym? And where the fuck did she plan on getting him tits as big as hers?

Not only that, because she'd waited until the last minute to ask him to trade places with her, he didn't have the time to adjust to her mannerisms, to adapt to who she was when she was at school. Naruto didn't even know what kind of person she was when she was at her preppy ass academy with all the other pompous people that attended the school.

If worse came to worse, Ino was probably just like Sakura… Naruto shuddered at the thought.

Sakura Haruno was off her rocker and though he loved the girl like a sister, it would only make sense if someone as equally disturbed befriended her let alone claimed her as their _best_ friend.

But if Ino wasn't like Sakura then she'd probably sponged onto the personalities of all the other stuck up assholes that attended GPA. He remembered Ino's first year there and how her personality had did a complete 180 in the short amount of time between summer and winter break. Sure, their family had just as much money as a great deal of the prestigious families that attended Garden Private but they lived a modest lifestyle. After a semester at GPA, Ino wanted to live like a queen.

She lived in a dorm for crying out loud.

Naruto sighed as he flopped down on Ino's bed and covered his eyes. There was no way in hell he'd be able to learn everything about his sister, her school, her behavior, and all things that concerned the girl's life when she was at school in just one day. It wasn't possible. They were going to get caught and, when they did, it wasn't going to be pretty. He would end up more screwed than she was… she so owed him for this.

Ino whacked Naruto with a hanger and glowered at him when he sat up. "Pay attention because this is the important part." She pointed to the five uniforms neatly folded at the foot of her bed. "There's one for everyday of the week but don't worry, they're labeled on the hanger and the inside tag."

"Do you have gym?" Naruto couldn't imagine hanging around the girl's locker room and watching as they undressed or showered… then again, if the circumstances were right, the boys locker room could have the same affect on him.

"Hmm…" Ino walked over to her desk and picked up her schedule for the semester. "I do!" She shoved the paper into Naruto's hands and sat down beside him. "These are all of my classes for the semester."

Naruto glanced over the sheet of paper and was engulfed with pride engulf due to his sister's choice in classes. Despite the possibility that she portrayed herself as an airhead at school, she at least was serious when it came to her academics. He was always surprised when reminded that Ino was sincerely intelligent and only feigned stupidity.

Naruto committed Ino's classes to memory. She had five and she had to attend each of them every day: Psychology III, Advanced Calculus, Advanced English, Physics, and Basketball. Lunch was after Calc, which would do him some good because, regardless of his intelligence, three years had passed since the last time he'd done a math problem. Naruto wasn't really worried, he'd always done better than Ino when it came to math. Psychology on the other hand… Shikamaru would have to help him with that particular subject.

"Why is basketball practice considered a class?" That was the only thing that hadn't really made much sense to him.

Ino gazed at the schedule one more time before she stood up to finish packing. "Club activities are mandatory and they take the place of an actual fifth period. My basketball uniform and practice clothes are in my suitcase so you should be fine. My dorm room hasn't changed since last year and you should know where it is but, if you don't, that's on the schedule too." Ino placed the last of her belongings in her school suitcase. "My dorm key is in the front pouch of this suitcase. Don't' lose it."

Naruto sighed. "So let me see if I've got all of this shit straight." His azure eyes turned to the ceiling before he stared at his sister once again. "You share a room with Tenten but I'll be fine because she knows that we're switching places for a while. She's also gonna help me put on all of that girly shit in the mornings so I'll have to get up early. I have four classes, I have basketball practice after those classes, and I'm a social butterfly." He couldn't believe how complicated the process of getting ready for school was for a girl.

"Good job." Ino nodded proudly and sat down. "But there's something crucial that you can't forget."

"What's that?" He was already forgetting crap as it was.

"You can't say or do anything stupid in front of Sasuke, Neji, or Gaara but you definitely have to say something to them if you see them. Be nice or something… flirt a little if you have the time. But don't fuck up or so help me…" Ino's eyes narrowed and Naruto held up his hands in surrender.

"Calm down, calm down… sheesh! Now why the hell would I have to talk to them? What are those bastards? The kings of the school?" He laughed to himself at the thought. He vaguely remembered the three and that same vague memory reminded him that they were ice bastards who only cared about themselves.

But then he remembered how all of the girls ridiculously fawned over them regardless of their personalities.

"In a sense, I guess you could call them the kings of the school. People practically fall over themselves to stake claim to one of them and I don't blame them. Just you wait until you see them… they look way better than they did when we were in junior high." Ino twirled around in her desk chair. "So, you can try to get me closer to them, at least, closer than Sakura is to them." Ino's turquoise eyes darkened as she thought of the girl and their ongoing rivalry to best each other when it came to befriending the three ice kings.

Naruto blanched. "But the two of you are going away together…" It was official, girls were crazy and illogical.

"Don't you think I know that? Call us frenemies if you want but you have to trust me on this one Naru. You're giving me an advantage and as long as you don't run off and fuck one of them-"

Naruto snorted. "As if that would ever happen…"

"We should be fine." Ino stood and placed the suitcase for her Miami trip beneath her bed.

"This is ridicu-" He and Ino jumped when her door banged open.

"And what might my two little devils be doing?" Kakashi smiled as he entered Ino's room and shut the door behind him.

Ino grinned. "I got Naruto to swap places with me, which means I can go to Miami, right?"

Naruto gawked at the two. He'd been conned… again.

"Sure thing Lemon, just make sure you call me every day." Kakashi smiled when Ino pulled him into a fierce hug. "Naru, I told Ru this morning that you'd planned to go on a road trip with Shikamaru and Kiba so we shouldn't have any problems tomorrow." Kakashi was an amazing man in Naruto's opinion because he was always, without fail several steps ahead of them.

One day… one day Naruto would come out the wiser.

"Whatever. Just remember what our terms were Ino." When his sister nodded Naruto crawled off of her bed. "I'm going to bed and I'll see you guys in the morning." Naruto hugged Ino and kissed her on the check before doing the same to his father. "You know, if papa ever finds out about this you'll be on the couch for a month?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow and smirked. "No, he can only hold out for a week…"

"TMI!" Naruto and Ino covered their ears as Naruto rushed out of the room.

As Naruto reached his own room he couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face if he wanted to. For reasons he didn't want to begin to explore, he was looking forward to being his sister for a couple of days. Maybe that wasn't such a good thing.

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**TBC**

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**A/N: **Here's a little story I decided to write after watching _She's The Man_ for the umpteenth time. And here you have it, the first chapter.

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**If you dug it, drop me a line otherwise, thanks for reading.**


	2. Ultra Female

**Warning: **_Language. Cheesy humor. Homo-Erotica. Adult themes._

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**WEARING ****A SKIRT IS LIKE…**

_Two: Ultra Female_**  
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Twin sets of cobalt eyes glanced around the lunchroom miserably. Naruto and Ino didn't mind moving, they'd moved around a lot since they were toddlers on account of Kakashi's job but now… Now they were in the middle of their sixth grade year and they weren't ready to go. They'd lived in Soho for a year and a half and honestly, they thought they'd be staying. They had never lived somewhere for so long and now they had to say goodbye…

They understood that their dad was in high demand (he was a world renowned photographer and the title brought him all across the globe) and he didn't want to leave them behind but they'd thought this time would be different. They never complained, never bothered to, because they loved their parents and really did enjoy seeing the world, but there were times when they liked the idea of settling down. If they settled down, they wouldn't have to make new friends, adjust to new places, or adapt to different cultures.

At least they all went through the change together.

"Hey Ino, Naruto, are you guys coming outside or what?" Kiba stood in front of them with a wolfish smile and a boisterous voice that stirred them from their daze.

"We're coming!" The two turned and grinned at each other in lieu of their harmony. They still were capable of twin moments.

Naruto watched as Kiba ran towards the doors and it was at that moment when it really hit him: he didn't want to leave his friends behind. This was the first time since they'd been adopted that they'd lived in one place for longer than six months and now they were moving again. He'd finally allowed himself to make friends, real friends, and he couldn't even keep them... it sucked!

They wouldn't even have a chance to say goodbye.

Naruto and Ino didn't plan on telling anyone that they would no longer be going to school come the next day or any other day for that matter.

That was just the way things had to be.

And that sad thought followed them outside.

Kiba smiled as he he hung from a tree branch. "You guys wanna go to the park after school tomorrow? I mean, Sasuke and Neji are both going and they never really go anywhere with the rest of us."

Sakura and Ino's eyes lit up at the mention of the two heirs.

Ino resisted the urge to frown when she remembered that she wouldn't be in New York to go to any park with anyone.

"And how would that be fun? I mean, Neji's okay but we don't need to invite that bastard Sasu-" Before Naruto could even finish his sentence Sakura decked him.

"Don't talk about Sasuke like that." Sakura frowned and rubbed her hand. No one- no one at all- held the privilege to bad mouth Sasuke Uchiha.

Shikamaru tiredly glanced between Ino and Sakura. "Hmm... I don't see what everyone sees in those two." For all of his genius, Shikamaru couldn't for the life of himself figure out how a woman's mind worked.

"What?" Sakura and Ino gaped before they began to rant about all of Sasuke's _qualities_...

"Their pockets..." Shino fixed his glasses. "Women like how deep a man's pockets go." He knew enough about the female species to know that a surplus in resources was all they really thought about when it boiled down to who was the perfect mate.

Naruto scoffed. "Gold diggers." He laughed when he realized that the two had heard him before quickly hidding behind Shikamaru.

For the remainder of the day, everyone laughed and joked until it was time to go their separate ways. Deep down, Naruto and Ino were crying. They would miss everyone at McAdams Junior Academy, even the self proclaimed bastards. Moving all the way across the country to Pasadena would prove to be difficult. They were going to miss their friends, miss the jokes, the beatings, even the bastards they (at times) associated.

But everything would turn out just fine… it always did.

* * *

**Present**

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"You look just like me… 'cept your eyes are way too bright and you got really tan this summer… I doubt anyone will notice." Ino grinned at her finished product.

Naruto glanced at himself in the mirror and was amazed… he just might actually pull of being Ino. The blonde wig matched her hair color perfectly and it even draped over Naruto's face just as it draped about hers. Ino had even managed to make a perfectly crafted stuffed bra that looked as real as it felt- not that she was expecting anyone else to test that out. The only real problem were Naruto's tan, tattoos, and the fact that his eyes were a different shade of blue. Of course, they'd planned to tell people, if anyone asked, that "Ino's" tan was a result of a summer well spent and that was why her eyes looked brighter.

If anyone asked.

"You know… I think I'm hotter than you."

Ino smacked Naruto with a pillow. "In your dreams moron." She sat next to him and sighed. "Remember, you have to be up by 5 AM so that you can shower otherwise you won't be able to. I spoke to Tenten and she doesn't mind helping you get ready so be nice and do what she says. Oh! Don't forget that red notebook. It took me three hours to write out instructions and directions, you better bring it with you."

"Couldn't I just call you?"

"No! That's what the fucking notebook is for."

"Alright, alright, I got it. You better hurry up and go before they leave you."

Ino kissed her brother on the cheek and grabbed her suitcase. "I know I owe you big time. You just make sure you enjoy yourself."

"You too."

* * *

Naruto gazed at Ino's dorm room in awe. How the hell had he not noticed how amazing it was? Then again, it was rare for him to visit Ino at school other than to move all of her shit in and even then he'd only sat the boxes in the hallway. Now, however, he could see why she only came home for the holidays or on weekends if she felt like it. The room was huge (roommate or not) and it was furnished with a large LCD TV, a couch, two nice desk, two comfortable looking beds, and two separate closets. It was like a little apartment.

Maybe he should've considered going to Garden Private Academy when the chance was offered.

Naruto quickly shook his head of the thought. He loved his school and the friends he had there, Naruto even liked his teachers. He wouldn't be lured away by fancy living or any other luxury that GPA had to offer.

"Are you nervous?" Kakashi smiled as he cast his son a sidelong glance. Naruto dressed up like Ino was an uncanny sight... the two looked nearly identical.

"Nah. This should be a piece of cake." Naruto smiled as he found his sisters bed amidst the suitcases and boxes.

"You should rest before you put your sister's shit away. Did she leave you instructions?" Kakashi sat beside Naruto on the bed and stared at all of the boxes. Putting everything away wasn't going to be a fun task and after five hours of sitting in a car, he doubted Naruto wanted to unpack of all things.

Naruto grunted and turned to face his dad. "Yeah, it's all in my bag. What time is orientation?"

"You don't have to go to orientation. That sign was only for the freshmen. Do you need your old man to show you around or can you handle it on your own?"

"I think I got it. You can leave if you want, papa is probably worried anyway."

"I can see when I'm not wanted." Kakashi smiled in good humor before pulling Naruto into a quick hug. "I love you and behave yourself Naru." He pat Naruto's head once before he stood.

"Love you too and I will." Naruto waved as his father left the room. "Time to see what this place is made of…" It'd been six years since he'd seen some of the people Ino had talked about and he was interested in seeing how they'd turned out.

* * *

"Ino…"

Naruto glanced around the hallway and spotted a girl that he recognized as Tenten. He remembered her as one of Neji's few friends back in his junior high school days. She'd even hung out with their old group a few times before her interest turned to martial arts as opposed to playing on the playground. Now, however, Naruto would have to say that the girl had blossomed into a gorgeous woman- especially now that her trademark Princess Leia buns were no more. Her big brown eyes sparkled as she smiled and jogged over to him.

Naruto smiled in turn. "Hi Tenten! I'm already moved in and I didn't move any of your things si- GAH!" He yelped when Tenten squealed and pulled him into a tight hug.

"It's been so long Naruto."

"Yea it has." Naruto glanced around the nearly empty corridor and smiled. "Wanna show me around? This place is huge and I figure we can catch up."

"Sure, just follow me and you'll be prepared when classes start tomorrow."

"Hopefully." With that said, the two were off… Until Naruto fell flat on his face because he realized he couldn't run in high hills.

Tenten giggled. When would boys learn how hard it was to walk in a woman's shoes?

* * *

Naruto yawned tiredly. Tenten had showed him around the _entire campus_ and since people were still moving in and all of the freshmen were at that orientation thing, the campus was somewhat deserted. Never in his life would he have guessed that it would take five hours to explore the school grounds on account of the trolleys not being up and running yet. Speaking of trolleys… Naruto wanted to know what kind of school needed fucking _trolleys_ to get around campus?

Garden Private Academy.

It was like its own little town that was made up of five gigantic buildings that surrounded a gorgeous, vast, courtyard. There were two dorm buildings that were divided by graduating class; seniors and juniors in one, sophomores and freshmen in the other. There was Garden Private Arts Building where a large auditorium, museum, and Art center were but Naruto didn't have the chance to look around due to orientation. The recreational building was, by far, Naruto's favorite place. There was an arcade, indoor/outdoor pool, a workout gym, an ice rink, a food court with actual fast-food restaurants, and a movie theater. It was Naruto's personal goal to fully exhaust himself at that building before his week was over. The last and largest building was the actual school.

Naruto knew already that it was going to be close to impossible for him to find his way around the place even after Tenten had taken the time to show him where all of his classes were.

All in all, GPA was amazing. If the Allen Arts Academy wasn't as amazing then Naruto would've consider transferring.

For now, he'd focus on finding out how to get back to his room. He blamed Tenten for his current dilemma Tenten. Tenten who'd left him to chase after some sexy little brunet… brunette?

Naruto wasn't sure.

"Fuck..." Naruto groaned and frowned, his gaze narrowed as he glanced around the courtyard. He perked up a bit when he spotted a shock of red hair not too far away.

He walked towards the person lying on a bench next to the water fountain and he smiled. The guy was gorgeous. Red hair, piercings, mascara, and… holy shit he had a tattoo on his forehead. The guy was hardcore but Naruto had dated worse… he was sure of it.

"Do you want something?"

And he had an attitude that clearly matched his outer appearance. That was always a joy...

Naruto bit his cheek to resist retorting sarcastically. "Do you know how I can get back to the… um… the upper class dorms?"

If Naruto were thinking straight as opposed to mentally cursing the pompous redhead with every swear he knew, he would've realized that _Ino_ would know how to get back to her dorm after attending GPA for three years.

If only.

Gaara slowly opened his concealed aqua irises and sat up. He fixed his gaze on the blonde female standing a little ways away from him and recognized that it was Ino Hatake... maybe? Something was off. She looked different but that wasn't what was raising a red flag, no, her demeanor… something was different. Maybe she'd gotten laid and finally lost the desperate act. Or maybe he was mistaken and the blonde girl in front of him wasn't even the same blonde girl who constantly harassed him simply simply because he'd been acquainted with her brother in the past.

Either way, the girl should know how to get back to the dorms on her own.

"What do you really want? And pray that it's not a waste of my time." Gaara glared at the girl who was glaring back at him.

Naruto's face scrunched into a scowl as he made his way past the jerk on the bench. "Thanks for all of your help, prick." Really, would it have been so hard for the bastard to tell him which way it was to the dorms? Naruto had assumed that the school was full of snobby bitches and arrogant bastards but honestly…

"What's your name?"

He almost blurted out _Naruto Hatake_ but then the wind blew and reminded him that he was wearing a skirt… Ino's skirt… "Ino Hatake." With that, Naruto continued on his way not realizing his mistake.

The real _Ino Hatake_ would have recognized Gaara Sabaku from a mile away. The real _Ino_ wouldn't have dared to call Gaara (of all people) a prick because she would've been to scared to utter such a slur let alone outright say it to his face. Gaara had a reputation that turned the real _Ino_ (and everyone else for that matter) far away.

Naruto would come to see what such a mistake would cost him.

* * *

"Hey Uchiha, you're needed in the student council room."

Dark irises stared impassively at the messenger. Lower classmen were an annoyance.

Without a word, Sasuke continued on his trek out of the Arts building and instead of going to his dorm room as he'd planned, he was now headed toward the school. He ignored the calls of his name, ignored the girls and guys devotedly following behind him like lost puppies. If he wanted company, he would have and he'd tried to make that clear on several occasions. Sasuke was even nice enough to pluck out a different bed partner every time the occassion arose, which, in his opinion was being far more than generous.

At the very least, he would thank his lucky stars that certain women weren't currently anywhere near him. Sakura, Karin, and Ino weren't as easy to ignore or avoid as were the rest of the student body.

"Damn it… this is the Arts building."

Onyx eyes widened when they landed on the muttering blonde standing near the main entrance of the school. Sasuke cursed his luck.

He'd jinxed himself.

But maybe, just maybe, if he kept walking Ino wouldn't even notice him.

Cerulean irises turned towards a boy walking down the long corridor. "Hey… Hey…" Naruto quickly walked over to the dark haired boy. "Look, I forgot where the dorms are. I hate to bother you but could you show me?" He tried his hardest to be as cute as Ino was when she attempted to get her way but this guy… The guy just stared at him blankly before he continued on his way.

Sasuke scoffed as he kept walking. "Find it yourself." It usually wasn't any of his business how people looked unless he planned on fucking them, however, seeing as Ino was one of his avid stalkers, Sasuke thought she looked different… different in a good way no less.

"Are all of you assholes at this school rude?"

Sasuke paused and stared at her, surprise flooding and vanishing from his face in an instant. Since when was Ino beside him?

"I mean, first that redheaded fuck and now you… You're all arrogant bastards." Naruto threw his hands up and walked away. To hell with finding help, he'd find his dorm room on his own even if it took him all night.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and watched Ino walk away. It wasn't a coomon thing, that being Sasuke Uchiha watching someone as they walked away from him (mainly due to the fact that people didn't walk away from an Uchiha) but this was different.

A smirk touched Sasuke's handsome face. "That definitely wasn't Ino Hatake…" With a slight upturn of thin lips, Sasuke continued on his way keeping in mind that he'd have to look into the Ino Hatake imposter later.

* * *

Naruto collapsed on Ino's plush bed, he was exhausted. After talking to two bastards, four jealous girls, and three adorable juniors, he'd managed to find his way back to the room. He thought about the last asshole he'd encountered and how familiar... familiar... It was like Naruto had seen that dark haired kid before… He kind of looked just like Itachi…

Naruto sat up with a jerk. "Sasuke!" He laughed to himself. "That bastard!" Well, he would've expected that guy to turn out to be a bastard in high school because he sure as hell was one back when they were in junior high. And to think, all the girls had a crush- "Oh shit…" Ino was still one of _those girls_ and she'd specifically told him to engage in "friendly" conversation if they came into contact.

When they were younger, Ino and Sakura were crazy about Sasuke (among other select people). Apparently, that hadn't changed... which meant that he'd have to follow in her footsteps because he _was_ her for the week. He groaned and fell backwards onto his bed. He didn't want to be sickeningly sweet to a playboy asshole with a stick shoved up his ass. And maybe he wouldn't have to... Naruto grinned to himself. He could claim PMS for the week and become an entirely different Ino- he'd give his sister a social makeover that she'd be proud to come back to and keep up (considering it seemed like she was kind of a bitch). He would start tomorrow and once he was done, he would never look back.

He thanked whatever holy deity above that he wasn't a student at GPA. It changed people for the worse and- Naruto shook his head. No. He couldn't judge the whole school based on the handful of jerks that he'd met on his way to the dorm.

Sasuke included.

Seeing the youngest Uchiha was a stark reminder of the time that had passed between them. It'd been six years since the last time they'd spoken or even seen one another. Before his parents had uprooted them from Soho, he and Sasuke were friends of sort. They would bicker, compete, and push each others buttons but those moments were nothing more than fond memories to Naruto. But, when he really thought about it, it was amazing that he hadn't run into Sasuke because he'd hung around Itachi since his freshmen year.

But Itachi was a story of his own.

The freshman version of Naruto had befriended the senior version of Itachi during a semester long drama class and they'd just instantly hit it off. To Naruto, Itachi was like a gorgeous older brother... a gorgeous older brother that he sometimes fooled around and flirted with but a brother nonetheless. He was a sweet guy who loved his family and talked about Sasuke whenever the occasion presented itself but never had he brought Sasuke along to hangout with them and Naruto never Sasuke loitering around the Uchiha mansion when he was there hanging out. He'd never asked why or why not.

And things were better that way.

Naruto had decided when they moved back to Soho that it'd be easiest to just forget those who didn't re-enter his life. He didn't want to dwell on the what ifs of a past he couldn't control. He didn't want to be reminded of what he had missed out on either. He simply wouldn't have to wonder about where people were or where they'd ended up. It was selfish but it made his life easier.

Naruto was grateful for the few friends he'd reunited with during his freshmen year and the new friends he'd gained since.

That was enough... up until this point.

He sighed and rolled onto his stomach. He was going to see a lot of people from the past but he was "Ino" so it didn't really make a difference anyway.

It might've been nice had he met them under different circumstances.

"Did you have fun exploring the campus?" The door slammed shut as Tenten walked into the room.

Naruto rolled over, his face scrunched into a frown. "As if you care." He sat up and pointed at her accusingly. "You ditched me."

Tenten smiled and sat at the edge of his bed. "I didn't mean to ditch you. I had to take care of a few things before school starts tomorrow."

"What things?" Naruto wanted to know what was possibly more important than making sure he knew his way out of the labyrinth that was GPA.

"Oh! I'm Secretary of Treasury for the Student Council so I had to double check the division of the club funds."

Naruto perked up at the mention of Student Council. "Does that mean if I'm with you I can hang out in the student council room?" At Allen Arts, he spent a lot of time loitering in the SCR because it had the best of everything. He could only imagine what the one at Garden Private looked like.

Tenten smiled ruefully. "If you were Naruto, then I'd say sure, but since you're Ino, you can't. She got banned."

A blond brow rose curiously as cobalt eyes stared at Tenten. Naruto wanted to know what the hell his sister could've possibly done to get banned from the student council room. It was probably something really, really, fucking ridiculous like-

"Did she beat the shit out of the Class president or something?" The girl had a temper a mile wide after all.

"Well..." A thoughtful expression lit Tenten's face. "Ino, Sakura, and Karin kinda ambushed him so... kind of. They weren't really trying to hurt him or Sasuke but, well, they got carried away so..."

Naruto couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh or call Ino to ask her what the fuck her problem was. There was obviously a lot that he didn't know about his little sister and her life at school.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**A/N:** This is a SasuNaru story for those who don't know but there will be hints of Naruto being with other people or it'll flat out be _Naruto with other people_. We'll see.

* * *

**Alright… hope you enjoyed the new chapter. If you dug it drop me a line otherwise, thanks for reading.**


	3. Believe It Or Not, Girls Can Molest Guys

**Warning: **_Language_. _Cheesy Humor. A bit OOC I suppose._

* * *

**WEARING ****A SKIRT IS LIKE…**

_Three: Believe It Or Not, Girls Can Molest Guys Too_**  
**

* * *

"Wow, this place is fucking amazing…" Aqua irises appraised a furnished, well decorated, student council room. Ino was impressed.

Sakura cast her best friend a sidelong glare. "Do you always have to be so vulgar. I swear, sometimes I pretend not to know you."

Ino shrugged as she continued to glance around the room. "What can I say? I grew up in a house filled with men and a family of marines. It's in my blood."

Tenten smiled as she ignored Ino and Sakura's usual bickering. "Wait until you guys get a glimpse of the hot tub."

And the three girls were too stunned to reply for a change.

Tenten could understand. It wasn't everyday that people had the privilege to see the inside of the student council room, especially those who weren't apart of the student council. But Ino, Sakura, and Karin had begged her to take them and she'd finally caved. She'd agreed so long as they swore to behave themselves. She sorely hoped that she wasn't making a mistake.

What Tenten didn't know was that when the three agreed to behave themselves, they simply meant that they wouldn't steal anything that belonged to Sasuke, Neji, or Gaara.

Not this time anyway.

Tenten shuddered.

"Wow! Is that a 70 inch LED?"

"Indeed it is. Now answer this, why are the three of you in here?" The girls turned their attention towards Neji who had entered the room from balcony with Sasuke not to far behind him.

Tenten flushed a gorgeous shade of red, her brown eyes widening. "Hi… Neji, Sasuke... I- um... yea." Was all that she could manage to stammer out.

Sasuke scowled as he stared at their treasurer, his dark eyes impassive. "Well, what are they doing here?" His tone was venomous and caused the girl in question to eep nervously.

"Well… um…" Before Tenten could answer she was knocked over by her three friends as they fell over themselves in attempts to get the attention of the two males.

Tenten watched in horror from her position on the ground as Sakura and Ino tripped over a fallen Karin. She continued to watch as Sakura fell onto an unsuspecting Sasuke and Ino onto Neji. Almost in slow motion, they all landed on the floor with a thud. Sakura and Ino quickly recovered and soon after, they rejoiced at their luck.

Karin eventually made it off of the floor and Tenten could only guess that she'd make this horrible situation even worse. They were all going to be in so much trouble... But if this was the end of her student council career, Tenten could at least leave with the knowledge that Sasuke and Neji were capable of having their feathers ruffled. Such knowledge came at an awful price... maybe, just maybe, fate would be on her side for a change.

Maybe.

While Tenten was lost in her thoughts, chaos was ensuing.

Sakura had a slightly stunned Sasuke pinned to the ground as she smiled her best smile. Such an opportunity only came around once and she planned to milk it for all that she could. She would make Sasuke, the love of her adolescent life, fall for her and now was the perfect chance.

Ino stared at Neji in awe and surprise as she attempted to sit up. He wasn't Sasuke but she liked him just as much and the opportunity was still a golden one. If she could convince him in this one instant to fall in love with her then the rest of her high school years would be perfect. Ino used the fall to her advantage and shifted so that her face was hovering just over Neji's, her blond locks cascading in blanket around them.

Ino uttered the first thing that came to mind. "Will you go out with me?" She glared at Sakura who glared back.

The two had asked the same question at the same time.

Karin stomped her foot and glared between the two. She felt left out. "Hey! Sneaky bitches."

She decided in that moment to pull Sakura off of Sasuke so that she could, instead, confess to the boy. This, however, did not bode well with Sakura and amidst her anger she tackled Karin, which resulted in a catfight. Ino happily ignored their antics in favor of waiting for a response from a dazed Neji. In a flurry, various other members entered the common area to rectify the commotion. Some were brave enough to separate Karin and Sakura whilst others pulled Ino off of Neji and helped the boy to his feet.

Sasuke stood up and dusted himself off before directing a seething glare at the three offending women. "You're all fucking crazy." It was very rare for him to lose his cool, more so when women were present (his mother had raised him better after all) but never in his life would Sasuke have believed that there were women daring enough to actually maul him.

Never.

That was the type of thing reserved only for rabid women chasing after a celebrity. Even so, the three in front of him should have behaved in accordance to how a woman was supposed to, not like moronic yuppies.

"That's an understatement." Neji cast a cold glance at Ino, Karin, and Sakura whose faces were flushed. He hoped they felt embarrassed for it would be the least of what they deserved. "If I ever catch the three of you even glancing in the direction of the door to the student council room, I will make sure that, not only you but even your great-grandchildren will never again step foot onto the school grounds." With that said, Neji stalked away. He needed to gather his wits before he lost all composure.

Sasuke took a moment longer to glower at the three before he too decided to go only leaving behind a few choice words. "In case you didn't understand, the three of you are indefinitely banned from the student council room." Before he walked away he paused to stare at Tenten. "And Tenten…"

"Y-Yes?" She mumbled out in a rush.

"Come find me once you let your friends out."

* * *

"What. The. Hell." Naruto was doubled over laughing.

And it was official, his sister was a dumbass.

He knew that she was bold. Naruto had accompanied her on several occasions to sales at one store or another and he'd had the privilege of seeing her fight for the clothes or shoes that she wanted. Ino was tenacious when it came to the things she desired but people? Never in his life would he have pegged her to be bold enough to quite literally jump a guy.

Did people even do that in real life?

Apparently.

Naruto was starting to see that the Ino he knew, the little sister who came home and was like his kindred spirit, was an entirely different person at Garden Private Academy. His audaciousness had rubbed off on her. Naruto just couldn't tell if it was for better or for worse. He was daring and he did a lot of crazy things but mauling the person he had a crush on wasn't one of them.

He sat up slowly, his laughter dying out as a grin spread across his face. "When did all of that happen?"

Tenten sighed as she leaned against the wall beside Naruto's bed. "Our sophomore year... right before Thanksgiving break."

Naruto nodded. He remembered that holiday break. "I finally know why she was bitchy and moody back then." He'd been so agitated with her and his parents just kept contributing it all to puberty. Puberty his ass. Naruto laughed a bit more as the memories flitted around his mind but he shook the thoughts when someone knocked on the door. "I'll get it. You look more tired than I feel."

"Ah, thanks Naruto."

"Not a problem." Naruto stood, wandering over to the door before flinging it open only to come face to face with- "Neji? What do you want?" Naruto bit the inside of his cheek as he realized his error. He'd momentarily forgotten that he was supposed to be "Ino" but it wasn't his fault. Not after being starkly reminded via Tenten's story that he was indeed not his twin.

In the long run, it didn't really matter because Ino's image was getting a face lift come the following day.

Neji quirked an eyebrow as he curiously stared down into familiar cobalt eyes. Slowly, his expression shifted into one of surprise as realization dawned on him. "Naruto?" He was positive that the blond standing in front of him was Naruto Hatake… well, Naruto Hatake in drag.

He could and would never forget those gorgeous eyes. Or Naruto for that matter.

How many years had it been since he'd last seen the boy? Better yet, how many years had it been since he'd longed to meet with Naruto again?

Never one to be rattled, Naruto recovered easily as he leaned on the doorway. "I can't believe you still remember my brother. I mean, I know he's pretty unforgettable but really, it's been how many years?" He wasn't an expert at covering his ass but his confidence in doing so _always _made up for that particular flaw.

Neji's lips tugged at the corners as he stared at the person in front of him. He wasn't an idiot, not by a long shot. Others would, perhaps, fall into the belief that this person was indeed Ino but he knew otherwise. Naruto had, in the short time that they knew each other, changed his life and he'd being doing himself a disservice if he forgot about the guy who single handedly rewired his beliefs.

Instead, he stared at the boy and took in his appearance- from the familiar cheeky grin to the slight build that was reminiscent of Ino's. Some people never changed and Neji had always assumed that Naruto would be one of them. He was right to some degree. Time had done well for Naruto's beauty but his personality thus far seemed the same.

No matter. If Naruto wanted to pretend to be his sister then fine. Neji didn't mind playing whatever game it was that Naruto was starting. For now. He would take advantage of the moment and worry about missing his old friend later.

"Well, _Ino_, is Tenten in?"

Naruto recognized the look in Neji's lilac irises immediately: the guy was checking him out. He would have assumed that it was on account of suspicion but he knew that look. It was the exact same one Itachi gave him whenever he was dressed to go out.

And Naruto liked when people gave him that type of attention.

It was a pity that he wasn't himself.

"Yea, hold on." Naruto turned to stare at Tenten who stared back at him, eyes wide. "It's for you."

"Um…" Tenten rushed over to the door, her hazel eyes drifting from Naruto to Neji. She knew right away that Neji knew Naruto's secret and Naruto was as naïve as ever. "See you later _Ino_."

Before Naruto had the chance to utter a goodbye, the door was slammed shut and he was again alone in the room. He glanced in the full length mirror by his bed and smirked at his female reflection. "I still got it..." His smile fell.

He needed some man time and while Tenten was away, he intended to have some.

He sorely missed his boxers.

* * *

"Naru, wake up…"

Naruto rolled over and pulled the covers over his head.

"C'mon Naru… you're gonna be late to the showers." Tenten poked the boy on his side and was surprised when he abruptly sat up almost knocking their heads together.

"Fuck… I'm late." Naruto climbed out of bed and grabbed all of the supplies he'd need for a quick shower. He had to be in and out of the bathroom before everyone else and he couldn't take any chances.

"You still have fifteen minutes…" Tenten's words fell on deaf ears.

Naruto was gone before she'd even finished her sentence. She sighed and smiled sleepily. She wondered if this day would set the tone for the rest of the week… she hoped it wouldn't pan out to be a terrible one.

* * *

Naruto finished showering at record speed (which could be considered both a good and a bad thing). As soon as he returned to the room his lovely roommate helped to get him into his Monday uniform, straighten his wig, do his makeup, and fit him into his bra. They managed to make it out of the door with good time. He was still ridiculously tired and in no shape to start his day but Naruto was prepared to go for it. He had a goal in mind and he'd be damned if he didn't reach it before his role as Ino was over.

He was going to give his sister's image a facelift- from bimbo bitch to the outgoing charmer that he knew and loved. Naruto wanted people to love her because she was loveable but he was getting the feeling that people at GPA weren't too fond of his sister.

Naruto smiled to himself as his eyes took in the school, Tenten flanked to his right. The actual school building seemed so large when in reality it was no bigger than his own. It only seemed that way because it was somewhere new but still... he wouldn't enjoy getting lost again. People were dicks towards the lost and he was in no mood to go through that again.

"Tenten!" Both heads turned towards the brunet(te) at the end of the hall.

Tenten waved before turning towards Naruto. "We don't have any classes together but I'll see you at lunch. Good luck!" She gave him a brief hug before she walked away with... with that person. The person that Naruto still wasn't sure if it was a gorgeous girl or a really sexy boy.

When the two were out of eyesight, Naruto headed in the direction of where he hoped his class was. The silence was killing him and it was a stark reminder of one of many reasons why he preferred his school. The first day of school at Allen Arts was loud and rowdy- all mornings were loud and rowdy at his school. He blamed it on the atmosphere. The walls and floors were tastefully colorful because the students were allowed to paint and decorate as they saw fit. Every locker had it's own individual spin and personal touch to it. Even his. And the people were just so- so outgoing. Everyone talked to everyone and everyone knew each other. It was a warm and welcoming place.

In comparison to GPA at the very least.

Garden Private had a basic school layout with white walls, long halls, black lockers, and marble floors. It was bland and uninspiring. The people wore uniforms that stripped away their individuality. But not enough seeing as they were all separated into their own tight knit groups with each group staring down the one beside it. It was ridiculous. Then again, he couldn't make hasty judgements which was exactly what he was doing. Everyone deserved-

"Shit..." Naruto groaned as he was knocked down. He'd been so lost in his thoughts that he'd walked into someone. "Sorry... sorry." He glanced in front of him where a kid was kneeling on the floor... sobbing. "I'm really sorry?"

"N-no, I'm so, so, sorry. I- WAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Azure eyes widened as Naruto quickly scrambled over to where the smaller boy sat bawling his eyes out, his body trembling with every wail. "I'm really, really, sorry. I didn't mean to bump into and hey, I'll help you pick up all of your stuff, alright." Naruto inwardly sighed. He was supposed to fix Ino's image, not further sully it by making a freshman cry.

"It- it wasn't your fault…" The boy sniffed and hiccuped as he tried to reign in his sobs. "S-some boys knocked d-down all of my stuff and pushed me into the l-lockers because I'm a freshmennnn…" He trailed off into a sob.

"Umm…" Naruto glanced around the hall and noticed that all eyes were on them. He had to fix things because, above all else, he hated to see people cry. He also despised bullies but there was nothing that he could do about that at the moment. One thing at a time. Naruto sighed. "Well kid, I'm Ino and I'm a senior. If you ever need anything or if you ever run into any problems, come to me, deal?" He smiled his most dazzling smile and he wasn't surprised when the boy shyly reciprocated.

"O-okay. I'm Konohamaru." Konohamaru wiped his nose on the sleeve of his blazer before he stuck his hand out watching as Naruto regretfully shook it. "Thank you, you know, for helping me." He stood and Naruto stood as well, carefully handing Konohamaru his stack of books. "Umm… could you show me to class?"

"Sure, where's your class?" Naruto was praying that the boy had a map and, low and behold, Konohamaru pulled one out of the pile of books Naruto had neatly organized for him.

"It's here." He pointed to a class on the map and smiled. "Thanks- again."

Plump lips pulled into a grin. "It's not a problem. Let's get going before you're late. You don't want to be late on the first day do you?"

Konohamaru happily shook his head and followed Naruto's lead.

Unbeknownst to the two, warmed lilac eyes had watched the entire exchange.

* * *

"You're late Hatake."

Naruto paused in the doorway, his face glowing and mouth upturned. "Well, you see… There was this lost freshman and I helped him find his way to class and he made it on time but, get this, I got lost and now I'm the one who's late." He didn't feel awkward standing at the front of the classroom, all eyes on him. He was used to going to class late although, usually, his excuses were lies and the teachers rarely cared.

The short balding man seated at the teacher's desk in the corner of the room glared from behind thick glasses. "As much as I would love to believe in you and your random act of kindness, it is no excuse for being late."

"Except if she's telling the truth, correct?" Neji walked into the class and smiled politely at the teacher. "I saw her on my way from the student council office and she was indeed helping an underclassman."

"Very well but be punctual from this day forth, understood? Now please take your seats. We have much to finish now that the break is over."

Naruto sat in the only remaining empty desk and gawked as the teacher's words finally sunk in. Much to finish... Ino hadn't told him anything about continuing work from previous years.

"_Don't worry, _Ino,_ I'll help you through today's lesson._"

Naruto glanced behind him and smiled briefly at Neji. "_Thanks._"

It was good to see that Neji hadn't ended up being a complete prick over the years but... didn't he dislike Ino? Tenten did mention that Neji had threatened to remove _Ino_ from the school at some point and things like that weren't so easily mended. Then again, if Neji had really seen him helping that freshman then maybe he was already making a difference in his sister's appearance.

And just maybe Neji's perception of his sister had shifted, even if it was just a little bit.

It was a pity that Naruto was naive where deception was concerned. Were he not so trusting, he'd know that his cover had been blown where Neji was concerned. But he was right about the idea of giving Ino a social makeover.

Ino's classmates were openly gawking at "her". They were confused and intrigued because they knew Ino- everyone knew of Ino. Never had she helped another soul to do anything unless it benefited her in some way or another. And Neji had never gone out of his way to talk to her let alone defend her. It was well known that Ino was enemy of the student council and yet, here they were in such an amicable situation... It was baffling.

They all had to wonder if the world was quite possibly on the verge of ending.

Or maybe Ino was having an off day?

Yea… that's what it had to be.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**A/N:** Naruto is making changes to his sister's personality and Neji knows. Hmm... that about sums it up I guess. Just remember, the ultimate pairing goal is SasuNaru but I do love messing around with UST between Naruto and the other gorgeous men from canon.

* * *

**Until next time! And If you dug it, drop me a line. Otherwise, thanks for reading.**


	4. Can't Always Please 'Em All

**Warning: **_Language. Cheesy humor. Adult stuff going on. What a twist! Beware of that last thing.  
_

* * *

**WEARING ****A SKIRT IS LIKE…**

_Four: Can't Always Please 'Em All_**  
**

* * *

"Love… What's been bothering you?" Iruka was beginning to get worried. Kakashi had stared at the picture wall all afternoon with an utterly lost expression while nursing the same cup of coffee he'd had since that morning.

It wasn't like him.

"Ru…" Kakashi sighed, his tired gaze moving from the pictures to his husband. He patted the space beside him signaling his love to sit down. "I think you should sit for this." His heart constricted painfully as Iruka's curious and confused chestnut eyes met his own.

Kakashi sighed. How was he to tell the love of his life such tragically beautiful news?

"What's going on?" Iruka cautiously sat, his heart pounding in his ears as he thought of the worse case scenario.

He didn't understand what was happening but he just knew that it couldn't be anything good if Kakshi's sullen mood was anything to go by. Very rarely was Kakashi upset and even when he was it was even rarer for him to outwardly show that something was bothering him. It had to be something really, really-

"I got a letter a few days ago from the twin's birth father. He's alive."

Bad.

* * *

Pink lips pursed and blue eyes narrowed as they gazed at the pile of books stacked neatly atop the desk and waiting to be picked up. For the next week, Naruto would be _their_ bitch. And he was pissed. Three classes in and he already had enough books and homework to fill up a small bookcase. If he weren't doing this for his one and only sister, he would've thrown every novel, notebook, binder, textbook, and folder right out the window before making his way home.

An irritable sigh feel from his mouth. His last summer as a child was ending and playing dress-up at a school filled with dicks wasn't how Naruto had intended to spend it.

And the biggest dick of all would have to be his (or rather Ino's) English professor.

So he'd accidentally fallen asleep during class. Was that really reason enough to leave him there sleeping during lunch? Which, in itself wasn't fair. Naruto hadn't known that he only needed to go to the classroom to drop off his books and then it was safe for him to just waltz down to the cafe for lunch. No. He'd sat a desk waiting for people to get to class and while waiting, he'd dozed off. And his bastard of a teacher had let him sleep.

Worse than the teacher not waking him up, none of his peers had bothered to either. Everyone had just let him sleep through the hour of lunch.

When he was woken up upon everyone returning, Naruto was outraged. At least until a fellow classmate had dutifully explained why he'd been left to sleep and was lucky enough to wake before class began.

Their English professor Ibiki Morino was, apparently, a strict former Marine drill sergeant who ran his class like a boot camp. That aside, no one ever dared to challenge his rules and regulations. Naruto didn't blame them. The man looked like he'd either been released from prison or had served their country well -either way, he didn't intend to provoke the man.

But all of those rules were ridiculous.

All of them.

Especially the one that stated, "_Under absolutely no circumstance shall a student who sleeps in this class be awoken by anyone sans the professor. Anyone who doesn't oblige is subject to the same consequences as the sleeping party."_ Frankly speaking, Naruto didn't ever want to discover what those "consequences" were.

Ino could have, at the very least, told him about the man.

Instead, he was now starving, in dire need of a bathroom, and pissed-off on account of the nightmare that his first day at Garden Private was turning into. To top off such a brilliantly horrible day, he would have to figure out how to carry three 4 pound text books, five nonfiction narratives, six works of fiction, and a binder filled with poems (all things that they would be _using_ for the semester) to his locker.

Naruto mentally thanked Professor Morino while mentally flicking the man off.

After three classes with similar treatment, he now had the sneaking suspicion that all teachers at GPA were out to make their students fail and hate school.

Missions accomplished.

"You're still here?"

Blue eyes moved from the pile of books to the redhead leaning in the doorway. "What's it to you?" He remembered the asshole from his first day on campus and it so happened that they were in the same English course.

Joy.

Naruto wasn't one for holding a grudge, however, that bastard was one of 40 people who hadn't bothered to wake him for lunch and that particular wound was still fresh. "And I could say the same to you." Of all the classes to come back to... Ibiki Morino's was the last.

Gaara shrugged nonchalantly as he walked fully into the room and over to his desk. Naruto watched as the boy reached underneath it to retrieve a forgotten book.

When he stood, jade irises carefully scrutinized the blonde _girl_ standing across the room. _Her_ gorgeous face was pulled into a scowl as one hand rested angrily against the curve of _her_ hip. It was an expression that Gaara had never seen on the Ino Hatake that he knew... then again, he was positive that the _girl_ standing with a frown on her face wasn't that girl at all. It was easy to tell considering _she_ hadn't so much as fawned over the fact that they were in the same room and alone together. No. It was obvious that the person before him was an imposter. Or, better yet, Ino's better half: Naruto Hatake.

"What are you looking at? Is there something on my face?" Or was he being checked out? Naruto wasn't too sure.

A slow smirk pulled at pale lips. "Nothing in particular. You look different." He was tempted to blow Naruto's cover but where would the entertainment in that be.

And Gaara had waited years to meet Naruto again. The boy had, quite literally, beat some sense into his younger self. It was because of Naruto that he was, dare he even think it, happy.

So he would enjoy toying with the one person who had plucked his life from the gutter before properly thanking him. It would serve Naruto right for doing a bad job at pretending to be his sister. They were no longer grade schoolers and the Hatake twins would have to do a far better job at switching places.

Naruto's eyes widened slightly as he cursed his luck. He didn't need to be noticed, not so soon. "Um... yea. Hey! How about you help me carry all of this shit to my locker?" He smiled his best smile and hoped that it was distracting enough.

A slender red brow rose and the tattooed flesh above moved with it."Sure. Just know that you owe me one." And Gaara intended to collect that debt in the near future.

Naruto was just happy that he'd avoided the topic of his appearance. "Fine." It wouldn't kill him to owe one bastard a favor. Plus, he wouldn't have to carry all of those horrid books by himself.

It was a pity that Naruto hadn't remembered the identity of the boy who'd reluctantly decided to assist him. Had he, then he would've been less curious about the awkward glances he was receiving as the two of them walked side-by-side through the halls, each carrying a hefty pile of books. Had Naruto recognized Gaara, he would've remembered to do as Ino had requested of him: kiss ass.

It was a shame that he hadn't.

* * *

"Their father? I thought he died before the twins were born?" Confusion and disbelief was laced through Tsunade's tone as she paced from one corner of the living room to the other.

She'd read the letter from the twin's "father" at least five times and she was still entirely upset with the whole situation. Confusion had a way of doing that.

"That's what we were told when we adopted them." A shaky hand pushed through coffee colored locks. "Both of their parents passed away... well... that's what they'd said..." Iruka trailed off when his voice cracked. He stared at his lap, hands balled into fists and perched on his thighs. Never in his life had he felt so helpless.

He didn't want to think about that _letter_ anymore. In fact, he just wanted Naruto and Ino to come home so that he could hold them and validate that they were indeed _his_ children. Above all else, Iruka wanted to tell them both that he loved them dearly and no matter what, they would forever be Hatake children.

Tsunade paused in her pacing for the first time since she'd arrived at the Hatake houshold. She leveled her honey hued gaze with Kakashi's and Iruka's. "This is either a money scam or one hell of a mistake."

Kakashi slowly shook his head. "We're not sure what he wants but we're considering his proposal to come talk to us. Not the twins, just Iruka and I." He resisted the urge to sigh, which was something he'd been doing far too much of as of late.

He'd always trusted his gut, always. So it was no real surprise that that gut-clawing feeling he'd been having for the last few days had turned out to be accurate.

Kakashi could count on one hand the types of situations wherein he couldn't quickly come up with a plan or keep his cool. Parenting would be one of those situations. And this -whatever _this _was- would constitute as another.

"He wants to come by as soon as possible but he said that it's our choice-" Iruka was startled when a fist connected with the end table causing him to falter.

"Damn right it is!" Jiraiya glared at the folded pieces of paper beneath where his fist had met wood.

When he and Tsunade had received a phone call that afternoon with a hysterical Iruka on one end of the line and a Kakashi who sounded far worse for wear on another, they'd immediately rushed to their sides. When they discovered what was happening and thought about what could happen with the twins, they were devastated. He and Tsunade had assumed the position of grandparents to Naruto and Ino and they loved them more than words could express. Suffice to say, the news had hit them hard.

But not nearly as hard as it had hit Kakashi and Iruka.

And Jiraiya entirely blamed the damned letter beneath his fist for the cause of their current strife.

Tsunade sighed irritably as she took a seat in the arm chair closest to Kakashi. "Meet him. At least before the twins get wind of this mess. If he's not a fucking crook, then you can work things out from there."

And everything else would be left in the hands of fate.

* * *

"Ino…"

"Ino…"

"INO!"

Naruto turned away from his locker to glare at the loud ginger girl screaming his sister's name and walking toward him. But then he remembered that he was Ino… and no one would ever have to know that he'd briefly forgotten that particular detail. He blamed the school for his slight memory loss. If everyone would stop referring to him by his last name then it would've been easier to remember.

Then again... the skirt and wig should have been more than enough of a reminder.

Naruto cringed. He was two days in to pretending to be his sister and he was already far too comfortable in her clothes.

That didn't sound like a good thing in his mind.

"Why weren't you at lunch?"

Naruto withheld his frown as he wracked his memory for the girl's name. He was sure he was supposed to know her and- "Karin!" He smiled to himself for a job well done. "Lunch! Yea... I fell asleep in Morino's class." He slammed his locker shut and slung his bag onto his shoulder.

Karin cringed at the news. "Sucks but- whoa!" She quickly circled Ino before stopping in front of her and whistling appreciatively. "What the hell did you do this week to get that tan?"

A wolfish grin took over Naruto's face. "I spent a lot of time at the beach with Ita- I mean... with my brother. Yea.." He watched to see it Karin had caught his slip and was happy to see that she hadn't.

"I like it! But- Oh! Guess what?" Karin bounced on the balls of her feet like an excited little girl. Or crack addict... Naruto related her more to the latter. "Guess who's in our Physics class?"

And now he wanted her to go far away because she was one of _them_. The ridiculous groupies that prowled around the school with a narrow-minded infatuation with the heirs and heiress that loitered GPA -Karin was definitely one of them. So was Ino apparently. Because of that, Naruto could already tell that he wouldn't particularly like Karin and that she would prove to be annoying if he had to be around her for more than his fair share of time.

He also remembered why her name sounded familiar. She was with his stupid sister and Sakura when they'd made fools of themselves in the student council room.

Another joy.

His sister was, not only a shallow bitch when at school, but she'd also picked a pleasant bunch of psychos for friends. Once Ino returned from Miami, Naruto intended to sit her down for a very, very, long talk.

Reluctanly, he uttered a, "who?"

And Karin's face lit right up. "Sasuke, Gaara, Neji... all three of them are in_ our_ class!" She grabbed his hands and made him jump up and down with her.

Naruto did his best to look excited. "Can't wait!"

He didn't understand his luck. What had he done wrong? How had he brought Murphy's law upon himself? To be in class with three people who were in the top tiers of dickery (just a smidgen beneath professor Morino) wasn't fair. In his two days at GPA, he'd had the displeasure of dealing with all three gorgeous assholes and now he would be stuck in a class with them.

It had to be a test.

Sasuke was a douche, had always been a douche, and it hadn't seemed as if that fact about the boy had changed. Naruto was positive that his "Ino" facade would falter around Sasuke because the youngest Uchiha knew just what to do to piss him off. In fact, he'd already done so in the one instance in which they'd run in to each other.

Neji had seemed alright at first. The guy would talk to him when they passed in the halls and he just... seemed nice. Until Naruto started to notice the guy was intentionally egging on his jealous stalkers and using him as bait. And all day jealous stalkers had glared at him and some of the bitches had even dared to "accidentally" bump or push him into lockers and walls. If he were really Ino, he would've flipped out but he wasn't so he'd just have to bide his time until he could take it all out on Neji.

As for Gaara... Naruto now knew why he felt as though he knew the boy. He did know him from long ago and they'd had an understanding of sorts but now -now he wanted to kick the bastard as hard as he could in the nuts. That friendly offer to help earlier wasn't _friendly_ at all. Sure, Gaara had carried his books but did he really have to drop them in one big messy pile in front of his locker. Which, granted, didn't seem awful at the time. At least not until Naruto realized that, not only was he at the wrong locker, they'd walked to the opposite end of the hall.

Were it not for the help of Konohamaru and his friends, Naruto would've been out for blood.

Nevertheless, he'd concluded that Neji, Sasuke, and Gaara... the three of them were nothing more than self-centered pricks who weren't good enough to see the bottom of his sisters shoes.

Class with all of them was going to be awful.

"Come on Ino, we have to get a good seat before they're all taken." Karin literally jerked Naruto out of his thoughts as she hauled him towards the class.

Naruto inwardly groaned.

* * *

"Alright brats, settle the fuck down!"

Naruto wasn't in the least bit surprised that the teacher (whoever that was because he couldn't see over the mass of bodies in front of him) had waltzed into the classroom pissed off. _He'd_ been shocked when they'd arrived at what was supposed to be their Physics classroom but was instead a crowded mass of chaos. Everyone was throwing a fit because the schools "Kings" were in the same class for the first time ever and since it was a first, people who weren't even in their Physics course had shown up just to witness the event.

EVENT?

Really... Naruto didn't understand the students of Garden Private Academy at all and he didn't want to. They were insane and he remembered his uncle telling him before that people with a lot of money tended to be "bat-shit crazy".

Still, he'd followed behind Karin as she elbowed her was into the room to get a seat by the window as opposed to one of the seats she'd wanted right beside one of the gorgeous bastards.

Naruto was just thankful that he'd even gotten inside of the classroom. And his heart went out to Neji, Sasuke, and Gaara... just a tiny bit. They were being smothered and no one, not even the pope himself, would make it through or past the tight ring of students that had formed around them like an impenetrable shield. Not even Karin.

For the second time that day, Naruto had to wonder what the hell was wrong with people and their obsession over three rich d-bags?

Human's were such shallow creatures and for that, he honestly pitied GPA's "Kings". Even bastards deserved space and peace of mind.

"I want everyone who's not in my fucking class to get the fuck out! And yes, those of you leaving will be marked tardy."

Naruto liked the way this guy handled his shit and he almost sounded like-

"Professor Genmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

His uncle!

His uncle Genma was teaching at Ino's school... Naruto briefly wondered if his sister knew.

A frown tugged at his face. The man wasn't even a teacher. And even if he'd suddenly decided to teach (just for the hell of it because that was the way he did things), his uncle didn't have patience, hated to explain things, and he grew bored easily. For the man to sit in a classroom for more than a half hour... Naruto groaned just thinking about it.

Apparently, GPA only hired teachers who were once in the military and had short fuses. Or were Crazy. Or both.

Someone needed to investigate what they were choosing to spend money on.

"OUT!" Genma's voice boomed and just as quickly as all of the extras had piled into the room, they rushed out.

Naruto sighed in relief, he hated being cramped into one space and he finally had room to breathe.

"It's about time those assholes left." Karin grinned.

"Sure. Let's just sit down before he starts yelling as us too." Naruto slid into the desk closest to the window and hoped that his uncle wouldn't recognize him.

He would never be able to live it down because his family... they were a relentless bunch. It was too bad he forgot about the way he looked when the sunlight hit his face…

Karin frowned as she settled into the seat beside him. "Damn it! The good seats were still taken."

Naruto chanced a glance behind himself and, sure enough, the three heirs were surrounded even though they'd taken the furthest desks in the back corner of the room. People... He knew it had to be annoying to have so many people fawning over them for no other reason than how they looked and the way in which their families appeared in the media. With the way things seemed, they never had a minute of peace.

But it wasn't his problem and it couldn't be. He was Ino, not Naruto.

Azure irises moved from the group to take in the rest of the classroom and Naruto noted just how huge it was. At the very back of the room was a lab area that looked like something out of a futuristic movie. He wasn't positive, not yet, but he was sure he saw labels back there with NASA labels on them. Naruto couldn't wait to tell Shino about GPA's labs because the guy loved science- or bug science- whatever the hell it was that he liked.

"Alright, now that I have my original brats, I want you all to stand up and move to the back so I can assign you to your seats." The class groaned in agony but Genma was smirking and staring directly at-

"Fuck..." Naruto grumbled as he stood and did as he was told. He was never going to live down being in drag.

"Here we go, Fred and Beatrice…"

Naruto opted to tune everything out until he heard his name, at least then he wouldn't have to see the look on his uncles face. It was a look that promised to never let him forget that he'd been in a skirt.

And he knew that in Genma's version of the story, he would love being a boy in drag... Naruto was going to die.

* * *

"Last but not least, Hatake and Uchiha. Why don't you two take that lovely back right corner behind Sabaku and Hyuuga."

Naruto stared… He stared and then gaped at his uncle. It was apparent that his uncle and Ino had conspired together when it came to the seating chart but honestly... Sasuke was the last person that Naruto wanted to be seated by. He wasn't sure how long he'd be able to maintain his Ino persona when seated next to the boy. Not at all. In fact, Naruto knew that he would've been better off seated beside Karin and she annoyed the hell out of him.

Maintaining his sister's image would prove to be the most challenging in his uncle's class.

Naruto blamed the bastards surrounding him.

And while Naruto was lost in thought about keeping in character, he failed to notice that he was doing the exact opposite. The entire class was waiting for the excited, in-your-face, outburst that "Ino" was known for in a such like hers. The expected cry of glee, the victory cry derived from owning everyone else who'd prayed for such seats... it never came.

And it didn't look like it was coming.

"Ino" also didn't look excited. If one had to describe the way she currently looked, perturbed and disappointed would be some choice words to start with.

Which then led everyone to wonder what the hell had happened to the Ino they all knew before summer break.

Where was she?

Then again, it was the first day of school so maybe she was just... yea. They would all chalk up her bizarre behavior to it being the first day back.

Naruto would have said otherwise. He was having a fucking awful day. And with that sobering thought, he trudged to his seat.

"Do you all see the person you're sharing a desk with?" Groans and sighs were chorused throughout the classroom. Genma smirked wickedly and it was an expression that Naruto easily recognized. "That person will be your partner for the entire semester."

In that moment, Naruto didn't know whether to personally hate his uncle or be thankful on Ino's behalf.

"That's not fair…"

"Why can't we switch?"

"You suck!"

"Why… Why…. I… I don't understand?"

"Shut the fuck up, all of you! You've wasted enough class time bullshitting as it is. And since we have such limited time remaining, here's what I want you to do." Genma glanced around the classroom, his eyes meeting each and every student's. "Get to know your partner and the other two brats in your section. While you're all doing that, I need Ms. Hatake to follow me into the hallway."

Naruto raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything as he followed his uncle out the door. He already knew what was to come and he wasn't looking forward to it.

And right away, Genma started in on him. "You may look cute in a skirt Naruko but that doesn't explain why you'd want to switch places with your sister?"

Naruto frowned. "Ino wanted to go to Miami and dad said it was fine as long as I agreed to take her place and keep up her school work. Since I don't start school for another two weeks and Ino's going to owe me forever for this, I figured it wouldn't be that big of a deal." Naruto shrugged, a grin playing at his lips.

Genma leaned against the wall. "Iruka doesn't know, does he?"

Naruto shook his head.

"Didn't think so." Genma grinned and pulled Naruto into a tight hug. "How has my favorite nephew been?"

"I've been better." But he blamed the school for that. Still, Naruto smiled as he studied his uncle's. "I didn't know you were gonna start teaching."

Genma shrugged. "I got tired of working in a lab with a shit team of assholes who couldn't tell their heads from their own asses. There was also the fact that I couldn't see your uncle Raido as much as I wanted to. You know as well as the next guy that a man has his… needs." A Cheshire grin lit his face as he glanced across the hall. "I took up this job and now I can see my little sex kitten any time I want to because he teaches that class."

Naruto followed his uncle's gaze and laughed. "Good for you."

If there was one thing that Naruto loved about his family, it was the fact that they were all lechers. And they'd keyed he and his twin in on the birds & the bees at such a young age that all sex related things were no surprise to them. They were all rather open about their sex-ploits sans his papa who was more discrete and worried about ruining them (that didn't mean that Iruka didn't have his own kinks).

Naruto shook his head of the random strain of thought, his lips down turned as his gaze strayed towards the class. "So, did you put Ino in that spot on purpose?"

Genma hummed thoughtfully. "Yea. She asked me to when she found out that I'd be working here and I couldn't deny a request from my favorite little niece. Besides, they're cute kids and I doubt you'll mind much either." He winked at Naruto but the boy's frown only deepened.

"Sexy or not… all three of them are bastards and they've been pissing me off since I got here."

Genma laughed again but Naruto didn't see anything funny about his situation. "Serves you right. Consider it your punishment for making me keep your secret. Now get back inside and maybe we can have dinner later. You'd like the teacher's apartments." Genma shoved Naruto towards the classroom.

Blue eyes widened as Naruto stumbled through the door. His gaze narrowed at his stared at his uncle before he started towards his seat.

At the very least, his uncle wasn't going to tell his papa about why it was he was pretending to be Ino.

* * *

"Fuck this! I tried being nice but you're all so full of yourselves." A withering azure gaze carefully swept over all three boys.

Naruto was pissed.

When he'd rejoined his group, he was prepared to do the assignment and as his sister would... well, as Ino would if she wasn't being desperate. It hadn't gone well. He'd tried to spark up a conversation, any conversation would have worked in his opinion but he got nothing in return. Gaara and Sasuke had ignored him and Neji had only smiled while dishing out one word quips. So when that had failed, he'd tried indulging his hidden Ino and turning up the charm because his sister was a pro at luring in the unsuspecting when she pretended to be sweet and endearing. He failed there too.

After trying one last time (which was doing far more than Naruto himself would have actually did) to no avail, his patience had officially snapped.

Naruto was pissed to a point where he couldn't give a single fuck about maintaining his "Ino" persona.

He could understand not liking someone. There were plenty of people that he wasn't too fond of himself -so yes, he understood. He could empathize with the fact that they didn't like someone who'd literally jumped them like a rabid fan. No one enjoyed having their privacy invaded and those three... well, they were never really granted any privacy or freedom. And from the looks of it, Ino was a stalker and Naruto had had his fair share of those as well. He shuddered at the thought.

But they -Gaara, Sasuke, and Neji should all be very used to dealing with those types given their roles in society. Being dicks or assholes or inconsiderate pricks would in no way help them in the future. And Naruto sorely wanted to know who was teaching them otherwise.

It pissed him off. More so because he himself could be cordial in the face of people that he couldn't give two shits about and he was brash and quick tempered.

So what was their problem?

All of that aside, they were in class and had an assignment to do. An assignment. Something that dictated and determined all of their grades.

No one (and Naruto meant this with all of his heart) -not a single person would fuck up his sister's grades.

He didn't care who they were or thought they were but his sister had big dreams and he'd be damned if she or anyone else ruined them.

With that lingering thought, Naruto stood, chair scrapping across the floor. Azure irises narrowed dangerously as they met with three different pairs of eyes. "I'm only going to say this once so listen carefully. Grow the fuck up. We're going to be working together for the rest of this godforsaken semester and I don't give a fuck if you don't care about your grades, but I care about mine. So get over whatever issues you have with me or take the sticks out of your asses because if you fuck up my grade, I'll fuck up your life."

Neji, Gaara, and Sasuke stared at the imposter with cocked brows (which was as much of a reaction as anyone would get out of them). Whatever doubt any of them held about "Ino's" true identity was completely obliterated the instant "her" mouth opened to verbally rip them a new one.

Standing in front of them was the one and only Naruto Hatake who was impersonating his sister for reasons unknown. Despite not knowing Naruto's reasons, each of them had it in mind to take advantage of the rare opportunity presented to them.

Far too many years had passed since any of them had the pleasure of seeing the boy turned young man who'd rocked the foundation of their young lives before vanishing without a trace and they'd be damned to let him slip between their fingers yet again.

Naruto, on the other hand, was done with them for the day. He slung his back pack over his shoulder and flashed the three a sickeningly sweet smile. "When you fine _gentlemen_," Sarcasm dripped from his voice, "decide to un-tuck your heads from your asses so that you can rejoin reality with the rest of us civil folk, I'm sure we'll be able to get some fucking work done." Without another word, Naruto waltzed out of the classroom just as the dismissal bell rang.

He shook his head in slight amusement as he thought about his sister pinning after the three bastards. He officially questioned her taste in men.

And they were in dire need of a heart-to-heart when next he got a hold of her.

Back in the classroom...

Genma was outright laughing as he sat with his feet propped up on his desk and head thrown back. And here he'd had the gall to assume that a teaching job would be boring. How could it be when he had a nephew like Naruto, a niece like Ino, and a slew of bright young minds with hopes and dreams that he could shatter with a single marking of a red pen.

He was going to enjoy working at GPA.

As for the select few students who'd had the rare privilege of witnessing "Ino's" outburst... they all sat in silence despite the ringing of the bell.

They were stunned and amazed by Ino's audacity. Her anger fueled rant was the complete opposite of what they'd all expected to see from her. Something about her had changed... for the better. Perhaps it was the fact that Sakura wasn't around to encourage her usual behavior. Yes... that had to be it.

Everyone in AP Physics was grateful that they were able to bear witness to Ino's ultimate curve ball and everyone else would envy them for it.

In the back corner of the classroom...

There Sasuke, Gaara, and Neji sat, each with a handsome smirk adorning their gorgeous faces as several thoughts raced through their minds.

Sasuke's blood was racing with adrenaline as his mind mulled over his adolescents and the role Naruto had played in it. He and Naruto would argue over nonsensical bullshit and get into scuffles over the smallest of things. Always, without fail, Naruto would manage to simultaneously push all of his buttons and that particular fact hadn't seemed to change.

In their earlier years, Sasuke had both hated and admired Naruto for everything the boy had -for everything that he stood for. He'd hated him even more when Naruto had unwittingly given him the solution to escaping his foolishly angst ridden youth.

And then one day Naruto -his rival, his utmost annoyance, his _friend-_ left without giving them any warning._  
_

Sasuke had waited several years (especially after meeting Ino again) to see Naruto again. He'd assumed that both twins would be attending his school but that wasn't the case and he had far too much pride to simply ask Ino anything in regards to her better half.

But that was fine now because he had Naruto right where he wanted him and Sasuke intended to use what little time that he did have wisely.

Gaara would forever remember Naruto Hatake.

During junior high school, Naruto had been the only person to ever stand up to him and they'd fought- they'd actually fought and it wasn't one sided. After their brief scuffle, they'd formed somewhat of a bond based upon respect and a quasi understanding of each other.

Naruto, in his own way, had soothed Gaara's itch for fighting. Naruto had dampened the pain and turmoil that once bubbled beneath the surface of Gaara's adolescent woes because back then, he'd just needed one person to understand or even take the time to try.

Gaara had been so angry as a teenager and yet, one fight with a stupid blond kid had solved a great bulk of his prepubescent qualms. For the short period of time that he'd been acquainted with Naruto, Gaara had enjoyed it (even despite the fact that Naruto was far too loud and boisterous for his taste).

Naruto was the first person to see him as just another individual struggling through life and Gaara would never forget that. He intended to remind Naruto of such a thing before the boy abandoned his rouse as Ino.

Neji chuckled to himself as he stood up and made his way from the classroom.

He'd known from the very second he'd laid eyes on "Ino" that it was not her. Fate had placed the very person he'd longed to see for years back onto his life's path. He would never forget Naruto, the boy who had unabashedly walked into his skewed view of life and corrected it for him. He would never be able to thank Naruto enough for helping him to mend the fractured relationship that he'd had with Hinata and her family.

He was still a bit bitter about the way Naruto had left without a word of notice but, now that Naruto was back, even if he was posing as his sister for a minimal amount of time, perhaps he would be able to thank him properly. Now that they were older... well, there were many ways that Neji could _express_ his gratitude.

And he would fully enjoy doing so.

This time around, Naruto wouldn't be able to leave without so much as a glance in their direction. Not again.

* * *

"Hello, may I speak with Minato Namikaze?"

"_This is he, may I ask who's calling?_"

The voice on the other end of the line sounded so pleasant but Iruka still wasn't sure. "I'm Iruka, Iruka Hatake. You sent my husband and I a letter requesting to meet the twins…"

"_Oh! Yes… yes I did!_" Minato sounded so happy and Iruka wouldn't dare shatter such happiness.

It just wasn't who he was.

Iruka muffled his sigh with his hand as he leaned against the wall. He wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing or not but it was worth a shot. He and Kakashi... they had nothing to lose by just talking to the man. "We'd like it if you could meet with us before we involve the twins in all of this. Do you think you could make it here around noon tomorrow?"

"_Of course, of course… thank you. Thank you so much for this opportunity._"

Such a happy sounding person… if this man was honestly the twin's father he'd better have a damn good excuse as to why he'd been alive and only now wanted to contact his children after 18 long years.

"No problem, just… just don't be late." With that said Iruka hung up. He was praying and hoping that this Minato fellow wouldn't turn out to be a let down and if he didn't… well, they hadn't gotten that far yet.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**A/N:** I s'pose I should make things clear as to who belongs where and what not. You don't have to read this shit at the bottom but you can if you think it'll help. Some of it might be spoiler-ish so don't read if you don't want it to be... I don't really think it is but, whatever.

**Allen Arts Academy:** This is where Naruto goes to school and it starts two weeks after Ino's school and it's as equally prestigious. It's a more liberal school for the Rich bastards in New York (Manhattan to be exact) but it's fictional. In this story, the little Rich bastards of the world generally choose between this school and Ino's. Itachi used to go here, Hinata, Shikamaru, Kiba, Lee, Shino, and Choji go there with Naruto now and are his close friends.

**Garden Private Academy:** This is where Ino goes to school and it starts in late August. It's a strict, no nonsense, sort of place that's the size of your average college campus. Naruto's school is pretty big too but they don't have dorms nor do they have trolleys. He can catch the bus everywhere if he wants to but GPA is kind of isolated (as in, it's in the country). Sakura, Karin, Neji, Sasuke, Gaara, Tenten, Haku, and Sai go here.

Other's will show up that went to both schools but they're either not as important or haven't been decided upon yet.

**Where they live:** Naruto and Ino live in Soho, New York. They lived there before when they were younger and it was the place that made an impression but then they moved because of Kakashi's "job". They moved back because they'd lived there the longest prior to moving out of the country.

**Kakashi's & Iruka's Jobs:** I don't know if I ever explain this but Kakashi was actively in the Marines during the twin's childhood which is the real reason they moved around a lot. He's ingenious, knows fourteen different languages, and his old job was Military Statistical Analyzer and Field Observer but he had an artsy side that ended up coming in handy (it was his cover and fall back career once his time was served).

Kakashi currently photographs for fashion related industries and other high end crap in New York. Cheesy but it was all I could think of when I originally constructed this fic. Iruka teaches Chemistry at NYU and he's always just been able to pick up a teaching job whenever they've moved.

**Family Ties:** Naruto and Ino's birth Parents = Kushina Uzumaki and Minato Namikaze. Their last names are different because Kushina was a spitfire and she didn't take on Minato's last name. She's awesome, yeah...

Current Parents = Iruka and Kakashi Hatake.

Kakashi has a shitload of Army buddies that took on the role of the twin's aunts and uncles- or grandparents in Jiraiya and Tsunade's case. Uncles = Genma, Raido, Azuma, Obito, and Gai. Aunts = Kurenai, Anko, Rin, and Shizune.

It's a lovely blended and extended family.

* * *

**If you dug it, drop me a line. Thanks for reading.**


	5. Its Never Easy When You're Cross Dressin

**Warning: **Coarse language. Cheesy humor. Cheesy plot twists that'll make you shit bricks of the proverbial sort. Enjoy!

* * *

**WEARING ****A SKIRT IS LIKE…**

_Five: It's Never Easy When You're A Cross Dresser_**  
**

* * *

"Hi… um…" Lightly shaking hands wrung and re-wrung as cobalt eyes slowly shifted from the floorboards to stare straight ahead. "I'm really early but I couldn't sleep yesterday and I thought the ride over here would take longer than it did and well… yes. I'm here!" Minato laughed nervously as he stood on the door step.

Iruka stared at the nervous man -the man who looked similar to Ino but was the spitting image of Naruto. Minato Namikaze along with Kushina Uzumaki were the cause of the twin's beauty, that could not be denied.

"Um… It's nice to finally meet you…" Iruka stuck out his hand awkwardly as he tried to decide the proper way to address the man in front of him. Minato? Mr. Namikaze? The twins' father? He wasn't sure.

"Minato. You can call me Minato." And Minato smiled easily as he took Iruka's hand and shook it.

"Who's at the-" Kakashi's words died in his throat as he took note of the gorgeous man shaking Iruka's hand. He inwardly sighed. It seemed as though it was time to finally meet the man who'd given life to his children and if things turned out alright, no one would end up hurt.

* * *

"How was practice? Did Ino make captain?" Tenten sat the edge of her bed watching as Naruto twirled (because there was no other feasible way to describe what he was doing) in the mirror. Suffice to say, his twirling was entertaining to watch.

She'd even taken a few blackmail pictures for later because she never knew when she would need to blackmail someone.

Naruto paused mid spin and frowned at his reflection in the mirror as he came to the conclusion that he was in no way shaped like a box. He loathed to admit it but he was shapely and thin-ish much like his sister so there was just no way... He damned himself and then Sasuke for planting that particular thought in his head.

But Tenten had asked him a question, one that seemed kind of important, so he could forget all about Sasuke for the moment. Plus, he had reason to be happy. His little sister was fucking awesome. "Hell yea she did. And not only is she captain of girl's basketball, they made her president of sports or some shit like that." Which sounded like a great title to put on a college application. He was so proud.

Tenten's face split into a beautiful smile. "Congrats, congrats, congrats! Ino'll be excited when she hears the news. She worked her ass off for it but, despite that, I think she'll be more excited because Gaara, Sasuke, and Neji are all a part of the sports program. Plus, the female and male presidents have to work together."

Naruto frowned and flopped down onto his bed. "And here I was going to tell you that the only downside to all of this was the fact that Sasuke is co-president…" Admittedly, it wasn't as bad as it sounded.

Now that he'd gotten a chance to see that Sasuke was, in essence, the same bastard from years passed Naruto was a bit excited. He'd always gotten a mild thrill out of getting a rise out of the stoic boy and for the next week, he could do just that while scoring some points for his sister. It was the perfect opportunity.

And he was curious to see just who Sasuke, Gaara, and Neji had become in his absence (outside of being assholes at least).

A little curiosity never hurt anyone. Not really.

Naruto couldn't think of anyone.

"At any rate, you should be really proud of Ino. Do you know how hard it is to grasp a high position of any sort in this school?"

Blond bangs fell to side and a blond brow cocked inquisitively. "No...?"

"It's ridiculously hard. Everything is so competitive... you wouldn't even know the half of it if you tried." Tenten's voice was as ominous as the look on her face and it gave Naruto the chills.

"Okay..." Naruto was easily reminded in that very instance that everyone -_everyone_ at GPA was some kind of mental.

"On the plus side, you'll get to watch the guys practice!" She wasn't a fan-girl but she was a girl and the sexy of an athlete was only paralleled by seeing a man of power in a suit.

Naruto laughed. "Then I'm looking forward to it... even the part where I'll have to see certain bastards outside of classes."

He wasn't used to dealing with a bunch of stuck-up, pompous, pricks on regular basis (and if he had to it would severely harsh his mellow) but he'd made the best out of far worse situations. Yes, a great majority of the student body were rude and inconsiderate but there were people like that everywhere. More in abundance at GPA and less so at Allen Arts but Naruto knew that no matter where he went he would always encounter people who thought they were better than him for no particular reason.

With that in mind, he would simply make the best of his short stay and enjoy reconnecting with friends of old by pretending to be his sister while simultaneously improving her image. Which sounded crazy when he thought it but, well, he was at a school that seemingly specialized in crazy.

Whatever. Naruto planned to have some fun.

"At least you seem to be getting used to everything." Tenten laughed at the expression Naruto's face.

He wasn't, by a long shot, used to anything. It just so happened that he adapted quickly enough to most situations.

"Speaking of getting used to shit, do you want to go do something in the Rec building? I know you haven't been there yet and-" A knock at the door interrupted her mid-sentence.

Naruto sat up and stared at the door. "COME IN!" He watched as the door was gently pushed open and standing in the doorway was the same pretty boy that kept taking Tenten away... and they were also in the same physics class but that memory was a bit hazy in comparison to everything that had happened in that particular class.

"Good evening." A soft smile stretched across Haku's delicate face before his warm brown eyes zeroed in on "Ino". "Congratulations in regards to your positions within the sports department."

Naruto was torn between continuing to blatantly check out the gorgeous androgynous boy and laughing seeing as Haku was so... so regal. Almost like a prince really. Which oddly suited the boy. Nevertheless, he mustered a quick "Thanks" and settled with openly appraising the boy's good looks.

Or he was until Tenten stepped into his line of sight, which made his lips quirk downwards.

"Hey... what's up Haku?" Tenten tossed Naruto a quick glare over her shoulder before she turned back to Haku, a smile present on her face. She inwardly sighed because it seemed as though Ino had failed to mention everyone outside of the three Ice Kings.

"Ah, yes. Sasuke would like to speak with you."

Tenten noted the fact that those sharp cinnabar irises of Haku's had yet to stray from Naruto and she cursed her luck. "Oh! Alright. Um..." What she was about to ask was very questionable but if Haku knew the truth, there was nothing that could be done about it. On the bright side, Haku wasn't the type of person to spread such information so... "Would you mind going to dinner with Ino and I'll meet up with you guys when I'm done?"

"It's not a problem. I'm free this evening as it is so it'd be my pleasure." Haku's smile was dazzling and Naruto couldn't suppress the urge to swoon.

In his opinion, Haku was definitely a prince in a past life.

"Then I'll meet you guys in a bit." Tenten rushed out of the room leaving the two alone.

Just Naruto and Haku... Tenten would hope for the best.

* * *

"You're not Ino."

A slender blond eyebrow cocked as his bright blue eyes focused on Haku. "What would make you say something like that?" Naruto was genuinely curious as to how Haku knew that he wasn't in fact his sister.

Maybe he was doing something wrong or his look was off and, if that was the case, he'd have to fix it before anyone else noticed.

"Well…" Haku took a few steps towards the bed that "Ino" was leisurely sprawled on. "Ino and I are good friends and I can tell the difference between her and the twin brother that she often talks about in a fond fashion." He smirked as his knees touched the edge of the bed. "That aside, there are glaring differences between the two of you. For instance, Ino is, in essence, adorable. The appeal of yourself... well, I've always found you rather sexy if I may say so."

"Really now?" Despite his outwardly cool demeanor, Naruto was surprised. More so when Haku sidled up between his legs and placed a hand on either side of his head. Naruto was blanketed by a cascade of thick brunet locks as a gorgeous face stared down at him.

Haku smiled. "Really. I've heard so much about you after all, _Naruto_."

And it was at that moment that Naruto wondered why it was his sister had failed to mention anything about a beautiful androgynous boy that she was obviously good friends with considering Haku knew about him. Would it have been so hard to mention something? Anything? A little warning would have been a nice gesture.

Haku leaned forward, his dark eyes boring into cerulean as plump pink lips hovered mere millimeters away from Naruto's. "And you are nothing like your sister." With that, he stood, a soft smirk still lighting his face.

Naruto chuckled at the odd turn of events. He was expecting a kiss -at the very least. Although, it would've been a strange introduction. But stranger things had happened to him before. Most of those strange things were in the form of Itachi and Itachi's friends but still... Haku almost kissing him upon first meeting wasn't even in his top 100 list.

The fact that his cover was blown didn't bother him either. Ino would probably kick his ass if she knew that their cover had been blown but she didn't have to know... so long as Haku didn't blab. Speaking of, Naruto was now curious about Haku's motives.

What did the boy want in exchange for keeping his identity secret?

Sex maybe? Naruto wouldn't exactly mind -no! No. He wasn't at GPA to dick around, he'd have to visit for that...

"So what do you get out of knowing who I really am?"

"Nothing."

"So you have no intentions of telling anyone that I'm not really Ino?" Naruto had to make sure because if they got caught, they would both be in a shitload of trouble.

Haku suppressed the urge to grin in lieu of Naruto's question. It was very obvious to those who knew of Naruto and Ino that one was pretending to be the other. Hell, it should have been easy to see just from Naruto's mannerisms alone that he was _not_ his sister. But everyone would simply assume that the summer had changed Ino for the better. Which, in the twins' case, was a lucky thing.

In fact, Haku himself wouldn't have suspected a thing had he not witnessed the "change" for himself during their physics course.

Even that was a dead giveaway.

But because everyone at GPA ultimately only cared for themselves, no one would ever suspect that Ino had traded places with her twin brother.

"I'm not the sort to discuss things that are none of my concern. Besides, what would the fun in that be?"

Naruto frowned. "Fun? How is any of this fun for you? And how do I know that you won't say anything?" He was wary of trusting those from Garden Private Academy -Tenten was the exception to that rule.

Haku's head tilted to the side as a thoughtful expression crossed his face. "I could tell you until the cows came home that I wouldn't dare to expose you but, from what I've heard, you're a man who takes in actions better than words. So here's what we'll do: I'll allow you to know my utmost guarded secret and if at any point your true identity is revealed and you believe me to be the culprit, you'll be able to retaliate."

Naruto's frown depend. He would never stoop so low as to do something like that.

Haku knew so as well but still... his eyes narrowed which caused the smile on his face to look sinister. "Know this, if my secret is leaked when I've done nothing to warrant its exposure, I will blame you and you will not like how I'll choose to retaliate."

With that warning, Naruto shuddered. People at his sister's school were fucking insane. "You're one of those _all or nothing _types huh?" He knew that type very well but he'd met crazier (because no one -not a single group of people could top the crazies that belonged to Itachi's inner circle).

"You could say that." That gorgeous ivory face held a soft smile. "Does this mean we have a deal?"

Naruto felt as though he was making a deal with the devil but... "Deal."

"Very well." Haku's face softened as he thought of his secret. "My fiancé is the head of this school's History Department."

A blond brow rose. "Are you serious?"

"Of course. Come see for yourself." Haku expected Naruto to follow him as he walked towards the door.

Naruto quickly scrambled off of the bed to follow behind Haku. His second day at the school was turning out to be far more entertaining than his first.

* * *

"Naruto Hatake... It's been a few years." Neji glanced in the direction of Sasuke and Gaara.

"Hn…" That was Sasuke's way of politely agreeing as he attempted to concentrate on the sheet of paper in front of him. He could only recall the moronic, ostentatious, Naruto from his past at current but soon he would see how much had changed.

Gaara didn't bother to answer, he wasn't one for small talk. Neji did enough talking for the three of them combined. Nevertheless, he doubted he needed to voice his agreement on the matter for it to be known.

A knock resounded through the room and lilac irises glanced away from the tedious task at hand to gaze at the door. "Come in." Neji stared at his longstanding friend intently as she nervously entered the room.

Tenten fidgeted with the hem of her skirt as she was met with two blank faces and a reassuring gaze from Neji. She hated how intimidated she felt when all three superior males were in one room together. "Um… Haku said that you asked for me? Did I file that last finance report wrong? I was in a bit of a-"

"It's not about the finances. I need you to tell Ino that the first meeting of the sports council will be tomorrow after classes. I didn't have a chance to tell her earlier." Sasuke hid his smirk as his dark eyes returned to the documents in front of him.

When he remembered the last time he'd seen "Ino", his smirk almost transformed into a full blown grin -almost. They'd had a very brief conversation wherein his childish side had peeked out and he'd actually told the boy that he was shaped like a box after being called a bastard one time too many. And it'd felt exhilarating. There were so few people that brought out that side of him.

"Alright." Tenten hid her frown. She wasn't the errand girl who delivered messages all over campus. That was Haku's job and he held it proudly. Disregarding that, there was something wrong with their current situation.

Sasuke would have never gone out of his way to deliver a message to Ino. Never. So they all either knew of "Ino's" true identity or they were having a change of heart.

She doubted that it was the latter. Therefore, Naruto would have to tone down his extroversion.

"There's nothing else, you're free to go."

Tenten meekly nodded before fleeing from the room, the door shutting behind her.

Pale jade eyes carefully studied Sasuke before Gaara spoke. "Starting already Uchiha."

"I do believe that it was Hyuuga who begun this race."

Neji chuckled as he leaned back in his chair, mirthful amethyst irises focused on nothing in particular outside of the window. "Perhaps."

It was nothing that they'd ever discussed with one another but all three of them knew that they each had a similar connection to Naruto Hatake. The individual events that had transpired six (possibly seven) years ago were different in many ways, however, Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara's lives had all altered the instant Naruto had stepped into their closed world views.

As nature would have it, the three were at the very top of the food chain. It was only natural that they competed for the top positions in every category or goals they set for their selves. It had started long before they'd entered High school and it would persist long thereafter because they were all bred and raised in a world where people held certain expectations for them. They held certain expectations of one another. So it made perfect sense that, as alpha males, they were all natural rivals.

Grasping the prize or reaching the goal... Having the better looks or grades... Being recognized as the top athlete, leader of student council, or being crowned king of the proverbial high school throne... It was all a race.

And the new trophy to attain at current was one Naruto Hatake.

* * *

Sasuke lightly bobbed his head as he listened to his iPod and headed towards his dorm room. Despite the fact that he was in a slight music induced daze, his mind kept nagging him with images of a face eating grin and sun-kissed blond locks.

Naruto... had changed his life for the better.

Sasuke could remember the very day it'd happened and every word exchanged between the two of them...

_"Edison is the better choice for the presentation and you would know that if you ever paid attention to the lectures."  
_

_"If you ever picked up a book that the teacher didn't assign or if you had a father like mine who was interested in shit like this, then you would know that Tesla is the better inventor."  
_

_A dark brow rose. "Our presentation is going to be on Edison. That's it."  
_

_A frown pulled at plump lips. "You're such an asshole. I would give anything to have somebody else as my partner for this stupid project."_

_Sasuke scoffed. "You and I both."  
_

_At that, Naruto's eye's had narrowed. "You think you're better than everyone else here? Do you think you have the right to walk all over people just because you have a fucked up superiority complex with a shit attitude to match? Grow up! Whatever the hell it is that you're taking out on the rest of us, get over it already. We've all got our own problems and no one is perfect- not even you." Blue eye's were bright beneath the fluorescent lighting of the hallway. "So deal with your bullshit at home and lets just finish this project so we won't have to bother with each other."  
_

_Sasuke stared at Naruto, his face as impassive as usual. "If this is the only reason you followed me into the library then job well done. You've successfully accomplished showing the library that you're indeed a moron. As it is, you just do your half of this project and make sure it's about Edison." His tone was acidic, which was the only give away that Sasuke was indeed irritated.  
_

_As things stood, Naruto was one of three people who had the ability to remotely get under his skin. And with every argument, Sasuke ended up with a migrane that he blamed on Naruto's bitching and moaning. This time around he'd had to listen to the boy whine and complain about their forced partnership and Sasuke was positive that there would be more to come.  
_

_It would be best if they saw each other as little as possible in between working on their project.  
_

_Naruto had had one thing correct in his early rant, Sasuke did think- no, he knew that he was indeed better than everyone else.  
_

_Almost everyone._

_There was only one person who had and continued to maintain being far superior to him: his elder brother, Itachi. But one day, Sasuke would surpass even him._

_"Insult me alls you want but, you know what, you're not as great as you think you are Sasuke. In fact, you'll only ever be as good as you make yourself appear to be and right now, you're as good as shit." Naruto smirked triumphantly the instant Sasuke's cold mask of indifference gave way to a withering glare.  
_

_He'd struck a nerve.  
_

_"What did you say?" Sasuke prided himself in the fact that he was resilient when it came to jeers from others, however, Naruto _**always** _found a way to get under his thick skin.__  
_

_"You heard me." Naruto folded his arms on his chest. "You're so busy attempting to belittle everyone around you as you place yourself on this neat little pedestal as if you're so far above the rest of us but really, you're just scared because you don't fit in anywhere. _**You**_ need people like _**me** _to make you feel good about yourself because people like _**you**_ can't feel good without hurting other people first. And I pity you. You probably don't even know how to be yourself anymore because you're too busy trying to be_ **better **_than everyone that you've just lost yourself." _

_Blond bangs shook lightly as vivid eyes gazed at Sasuke._ "_You can't even be yourself or follow your own path because you're so preoccupied with being better than me. That's exactly why you'll always be stuck in someone else's shadow or forgotten in the background somewhere." Naruto turned to walk away not knowing how much those words had hit home about Sasuke's particular situation. _

_Years later, he would tell people that he was genuinely surprised when Sasuke tackled him and was the cause of their very first physical altercation (with bloody harm as the intent)._

_It would end up being their last.  
_

_(As for the project, Naruto's half was spent discrediting Edison and paying respects to Tesla, which would result in their receiving extra credit.)  
_

A small, almost unnoticeable, smile flit across Sasuke's gorgeous face at that particular memory.

He remembered mulling over Naruto's "pep talk" during a very silent three hour detention. It'd taken a week to dissect, analyze, and place some worth to it. It'd taken another two months to realize that Naruto had been absolutely correct -despite what he'd sorely wanted to believe at the time.

All of the envy and hatred directed towards his brother and the rest of the world -that he'd held pent up inside himself... all of it had hindered his growth as opposed to aiding it. He'd felt so foolish for blaming Itachi for their father's ill begotten parenting skills and then taking that anger out on everyone else around him. It wasn't his brother's fault that their father chose to favor his eldest son and ignore his youngest. It wasn't the world's fault. It wasn't Sasuke's burden to carry either.

It'd taken a verbal lashing from Naruto for Sasuke to understand that he wasn't the problem wherein his father was concerned. He wasn't the one lacking in that situation and he didn't have to continue to chase Itachi's shadow to get into that man's favor. He was his own person and if his father missed out on the opportunity to know him, that was his father's loss.

He'd decided when he came to such a realization that he would strive to be a better Sasuke Uchiha. One who knew his own self-worth and didn't attribute that to what society thought about him.

And Sasuke no longer gave a fuck about his father's opinion when it concerned his life. He strove to do things for one reason and one alone: himself. (If his achievements made his brother proud, that was just a bonus.)

He and Itachi were close. They were brother's, best friends, and rivals in the most positive of ways. They had a proper relationship and part of that was on account of the childish reality check from one Naruto Hatake.

So, at the very least, Sasuke owed Naruto some form of retribution.

Sasuke intended to enjoy "thanking" Naruto.

* * *

Neji sat at his desk, homework open and ready, however, his mind was elsewhere. He found it amusing that one Naruto Hatake had preoccupied his mind since he'd re-encountered him. It wasn't as though he'd never wondered about Naruto or where the boy had ended up. It was just different to actually see or rather, know that Naruto was right there in front of him and he could finally give him a proper thank you (all sexual attraction aside of course... for now).

Naruto had helped him to change his life.

Neji felt as though fate had stepped in just as she had the very day Naruto dished out words of wisdom that had aided in crafting his current path on life's track...

_"Do not speak to me so familiarly."_

_Hinata took a step forward, her face red and eyes glistening. "B-But I-"  
_

_Neji held up a hand to stop her. "We share nothing more than blood. Do not expect me to acknowledge you on those grounds alone." Hardened lilac irises glowered at Hinata who was but one word away from crying.  
_

_In Neji's eyes, she was weak. So very, very, weak and undeserving. It was pathetic -her behavior. And she'd even dared to bring an outsider into their conversation! There was nothing that either of them could say to him, nothing.  
_

_However, before he could walk away, he was grabbed by the arm.. Neji turned, his gaze meeting furious sapphire eyes.  
_

_"How can you treat a girl like this, let alone your family? You two share the same blood!" Naruto let go of Neji's arm and heatedly stared at him. "Do you know what I would give to have just one person -an aunt, uncle, cousin, or grandparent -who could share the history of my bloodline with me? Just one."  
_

_Naruto's gaze softned. "I know your father passed away and I couldn't begin to imagine how you must feel but you still have family that cares. You still have your mother, Hinata, and everyone else in your family who can share and work towards overcoming that type of grief. Together, through all of you, your father will live on."  
_

_Neji's face angrily contorted. "Don't speak of my father as if you know anything. As if you understand."  
_

_"I don't understand and I'm sorry. It's just..." Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "Ino and I- we had no one but each other for two years and we were lucky when we ended up with the parents that we have now. They don't share the same blood as we do. They can't tell us about our ancestors or our great grandparents, or even our biological parents. And those people won't be able to live on through us. But we've created a new history, one where our current parents and relatives are the baseline. And we love them for it. They would do anything for us and because of them, we are who we are today. They created a family for us that easily replaced the one we never had and never knew about."  
_

_Empathetic azure eyes met lilac. "I'm not saying to just move on or anything like that and I don't know all of the details either. I'm just saying you'd be ignorant if you didn't recognize all of the great things that stare you in the face everyday. It would help a lot if you talked to your family about your dad. Maybe you'd be less angry. But, until you realize what you do have, you'll be left with nothing and that's an even worse feeling than being mad. And since you can only be mad... since you won't cry, I'll do it for you." With that Naruto wrapped an arm around the shaken Hinata and walked away._

_A wide-eyed Neji stood in their wake.  
_

Neji sighed wistfully.

Back then, with every ounce of his soul, Neji had loathed his family and the bloodline that he was destined to forever carry. He'd believed fate a cruel mistress who'd trapped him in his place among the bottom ranks of the Hyuuga caste system the instant his father passed away.

And for that, he'd been bitter, spiteful, and outright malicious towards anyone who so much as glanced in his direction.

The young Neji Hyuuga had held so much rage on account of his father's death, his mother's acceptance, and his place in society... it'd all just been too much. Neji had sworn that he would sever his familial ties and avoid bonds of any sort because they were frivolous distractions and amounted to nothing in the end.

He'd seen so for himself the moment his family decided to sacrifice his father for his uncle's mistakes -or so he'd assumed.

His cousin -his beautiful and kind cousin Hinata was once the bane of his existence and he'd envied her. Their father's were identical twins and his father was once the head of their vast family. But then his uncle had screwed something or another up and his father took the fall for his younger brother. And it was as if the instance in which his father was out of the picture, his uncle had appeared and usurped the Clan head position.

He'd hated his uncle.

Aside from being cheated from having a father, Neji had also lost the privilege of becoming the next head of their family. And his mother... she'd simply accepted his uncle and moved them into the guest home leaving the main home to his uncle. She hadn't even attempted to fight against their familial traditions.

He didn't know why his mother had taken everything in stride.

He didn't understand why she was still capable of smiling when they'd lost his father and were subsequently demoted to branch family status.

At the time, Neji hadn't understood anything and he was left to stew in his own anger.

But then Naruto... that cheeky imbecile had spewed a slew of gorgeous and ridiculous philosophy on one of the few days that Hinata had gathered the courage to speak to him.

And it'd left an impression.

Everything that Naruto had said to him was the truth.

All of it -his anger, his bitterness, all of his ill-emotions were misdirected as he'd found out when he'd spoken to his uncle.

The man had stolen nothing from him. Not his father, nor his position or home. His uncle had told him the tale of two brothers who'd wanted to trade the responsibilities of their lives. Which was what they'd done. His uncle Hiashi Hyuuga was, in fact, supposed to be the head of the clan as the eldest twin but he'd made the ultimate trade with his father in order to lead the life he'd seen fit. His father happily took on the role for his beloved brother and when they were close to being discovered, his father took his own life to save both of their families.

The cover story was the one fed to Neji but his mother and uncle knew the truth.

Despite the fact that his uncle wanted no part in the family business, he'd returned in order to pass on the position of the family head to his nephew. It was the only way for him to do so. He'd always intended to tell Neji but the right time had never occurred.

Neji had felt foolish once he'd learned the truth.

He'd wasted four years being angry and bitter only to find out that it was for no reason at all. And had he not belated taken Naruto's advice to ask for the truth, then he would've wasted countless more years pitying himself.

The one thing he'd regretted so was that he'd never gotten the chance to thank Naruto or tell the idiot that he no longer needed to cry on his behalf.

Now Neji would have that chance. And he couldn't wait to give Naruto a proper thanks.

* * *

Gaara laid near the fountain in the middle of the courtyard, his gaze focused on the dark sky. It was only two days ago when he'd laid in the same spot only to have his moment of peace interrupted by -who he now recognized as- Naruto Hatake. Many years had passed since they last saw one another but Gaara had always held a certain level of respect for Naruto and he would never forget why that was.

_"My bad..." Naruto smiled sheepishly after carelessly bumping into Gaara.  
_

_Light green eyes narrowed dangerously. "You..." Without warning, Gaara grabbed Naruto and punched him the jaw. He relished in the feeling of his fist making contact with the flesh of Naruto's face over and over...  
_

_People were running down the hall towards them but Gaara didn't care.  
_

_He would easily obliterate them as well if they attempted to test their luck.  
_

_Naruto yanked away from Gaara, his eyes focused on his friends for a split second. "No! Stay over there." He continued to block Gaara's relentless assault though some hits were unavoidable. "You can hit me all you want if it'll make you feel better but I doubt it does."  
_

_Pale jade irises narrowed further and Gaara's vigor increased. He relished in the sight of Naruto's defenses crumbling. "Go on, ask them to help you." He wanted them all to suffer. He wanted everyone to feel the same pain and loneliness that he felt on a daily basis.  
_

_Especially the boy who smiled as if he'd never held a care in the world.  
_

_"Why would I do that when I'm trying to help you?" Naruto cracked a bloody smile, which caused Gaara to freeze in surprise. It was just the opening he'd needed. Before Gaara could recover his standing, Naruto drew back his fist and punched the boy square in the nose. He watched as Gaara fell backwards onto the floor. "But in order to help you, you'll need to take a little of what you dish out, ya know?"  
_

_And even as the boy's friends were dragging him away and yelling at him, Naruto's smile- the one aimed in Gaara's direction- never fell.  
_

_It was an image that Gaara would never forget.  
_

Gaara slowly opened his eyes as the memory washed over him. It was one that he'd never forgotten. The lesson he'd learned that day had helped him to become the man that he was today.

For the better part of his youth, Gaara had taken out his anger on any and every person that crossed his path because he knew pain, true, honest to god pain and he wanted everyone to feel it too.

He'd blamed his father.

His father had blamed him for his mother's death because she died during labor and as punishment for such a crime he was beaten, starved, and kept like an animal. Even his siblings were kept from him. And he'd hated them for not saving him. Prior to meeting Naruto, he didn't know anything about love, being cared for, or how it felt to even be liked. All that Gaara knew was ire and anguish. Those were feelings that he wanted everyone around him to hold as well.

On a particularly bad day, Naruto had bumped into him.

On that day, Gaara wouldn't have cared one bit if he'd murdered someone.

But Naruto... had surprised him. No one had ever fought him back and no one had ever given him such a gorgeous smile. So the words that the boy had said during their brief skirmish had stayed with him. They'd changed him. In that short instance, Naruto had done something that no one else had bothered to do -he'd looked at Gaara like he was a person.

Like he mattered.

He remembered sitting on the ground, stunned, and staring in the direction that Naruto and his friends had walked for quite some time. He'd been intrigued that someone had, not only had the gall to speak to him but they'd managed to land a punch and knock him down. Someone other than his father had the ability to make him bleed -to make him feel.

And Gaara had smiled with that thought.

In fact, he'd outright laughed as he'd sat in the middle of the hall by himself. The sound of his own laughter had been a foreign one to him but he'd welcomed it because it made him feel free.

At that moment, he'd felt like a fool.

How had he managed to go through life with the belief that his father was the only person able to give to and take away from his life?

So it was that he'd decided as he sat in the middle of that hall with a smile awkwardly plastered on his face that his father could go to hell. The man could do whatever he saw fit but Gaara would no longer allow him to dictate and hold power over his life.

No matter the abuse, whether it were mental or physical, Gaara didn't give his father a reaction, not one. He'd found his own strength and he owed that much to Naruto.

Gaara had gained a strong sense of pride and honor over the years and it was for that reason that he would forever feel indebted to Naruto.

After their initial meeting, they never became friends but they had an understanding. Whenever they would pass one another in the halls Naruto would smile or wave and Gaara made sure to give the boy a curt nod. Even when Naruto would briefly pause to ask him some mundane question or to simply acknowledge that he existed, Gaara never minded his presence and would humor the boy.

But then those fleeting conversations had ceased to be.

Naruto had moved.

No less than a month after that, Gaara's father had passed away. The odd thing about his father's sudden death was the fact that the man had left his entire legacy to the son he'd condemned.

And after years of isolation from his siblings, they were all freed and open to speak to one another.

That was where he'd found his happiness.

Gaara was greatful to have Temari as his sister because she doubled as a mother substitute and her love for him... she'd shown him the true meaning of loving and caring for ones family. Through her he'd felt cherished. Through his older brother Kankuro, he'd learned what it really meant to be a man. Kankuro was the mentor that guided him down the right path.

They were a family. A powerfully small family.

Gaara felt as though he owed some of that happiness to Naruto.

* * *

Iruka and Kakashi silently watched as Minato took his time carefully examining every picture of the twins displayed proudly on their living room walls. They had so many up and in each picture the twins were the center of attention.

From time to time he would ask a question or make a comment but mostly the room was filled with an anxious silence as they watched him. He would stare at each picture as though he were adding it to his own memory bank of preciously missed moments and opportunities. As he did so, Minato's face was a flood of emotions as it morphed between varying expressions: elation, sorrow, envy...

They now knew with absolution why it was that the twins so easily wore their emotions like a second layer of skin.

Silently, Minato took a seat in the arm chair near the wall. He pushed a hand through golden locks of hair and smiled softly -sincerely. "They're really happy, aren't they?"

"We'd like to hope that they are. They're extraordinary kids and we've attempted to give them the world." As Kakashi stared at Minato, he felt a pang of sympathy for the man. He couldn't imagine how things would be if the shoe were on the other foot and he was so happy that they weren't. It was a selfish but honest thought.

"I think you've done an amazing job from what I can see here." Minato's smile broadened slightly as sapphire eyes gazed in the couple's direction. "I remember when Kushina and I first got the news that we'd be having twins... we were so happy. I mean, we wanted a huge family. We would stay up late into the night talking about having a house filled from floor to ceiling with children." His eyes darkened with his next words. "But then, there was my accident."

"Can I... Can I ask what happened?" Chestnut-brown eyes curiously stared into blue.

Minato nodded. "I don't know if you remember or even heard about the civil war that took place in Kalimantan, Indonesia a little over 18 years ago but I was there. I was in the military and my job this time around was to offer aide to the rebel forces. Gato, the man who'd attempted to overturn the government in that small subset of Indonesia found out my purposes for being in the country and he attempted to assassinate me. Planting a bomb on my car wasn't the best way to go about that, less so because the timing was off and they didn't account for my changing vehicles."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was a habit that he couldn't shake and one that Naruto shared with him. "Our tradeoff point was in the middle of a bridge that civilians rarely used. At the precise moment I stepped out of the car, there was an explosion. The force of the blast caused the weak foundation of the bridge to give out and everything was a wave of chaos from there. I do remember hitting my head but the next time I woke up I didn't know where or who I was. Neither did the people in the village who found me." A frown tugged at plump lips as Minato leaned into the chair. He hated that story. He hated being reminded that he'd missed out on 18 years of what could've been his life with his wife and his children on account of his carelessness.

Gray eyes scrutinized Minato carefully and Kakashi came to one conclusion: he believed Minato.

He was an expert at reading people. Picking up on emotions or the intentions of those around him based upon a single twitch was a job he'd held proudly and Minato was no exception. The man was, suffice to say, as easy to read as both Naruto and Ino. Kakashi highly doubted he'd be able to say the same thing were Minato actively on duty but for now it held true.

Aside from reading Minato, Kakashi also believed in facts. He remembered the civil war in Kalimantan because he was also stationed there. And he remembered being notified of the explosion and the loss of several good men. He'd been at the rendezvous point waiting to retrieve information from Agent N. Agent N was now seated across from him.

The world was such a small place.

Iruka, on the other hand, was in awe and wanted to know everything. "Oh my god! What did you do next?"

Minato smiled softly in Iruka's direction. "Well, the next time I woke up I was in a hospital somewhere in Darwin, Australia. I had some broken bones, some burns, and amnesia but it could have been worse. Since I didn't know anything about anything, I was referred to as John Doe. I had no place to go so I stayed at the hospital and was treated for a year. When I was released, I married the nurse that cared for me. Lynn and I... we had a good life despite my lack of identity. We have a son, Menma, and he's half a year shy of the twin's age."

"How did you end up here?" Because that was the part that Kakashi was most perplexed about. He needed to know.

"About two years ago I regained my memory and it was hell. They came back in burst- dream like burst. But then one morning I woke up and everything... it had all came back to me. I can't even begin to explain or describe how I felt when I realized that I'd missed out on sixteen years with my children and the love of my life. I still love Lynn but Kushina... Kushina was my soulmate and the twins were to be our legacies. So I was an emotional wreck for about a week but I recovered and immediately set out to find my family. Lynn was... she was beyond understanding. She wanted me to find them and we agreed that we would decide what to do when the time came."

Minato's face took on a sorrowful look that was heart wrenching. "I returned to the states and went to D.C., which was the last place I'd been with Kushina. When I found out that she'd passed on, my whole world nearly shattered. I had to grieve alone in a hotel room for well over half a year and I hope you can forgive me for that. I just... I knew what I had to do next but I blamed myself for my loss. When I did recover, I set out to find our children and that took more time than it should have. I was searching for children under the name Namikaze as opposed to Uzumaki. When I figured that out, my renewed search brought me to the social services building that handled the twins' case, which led me here." Minato's gaze was soft as he stared at the couple seated adjacent from him.

Kakashi felt the man's pain, he did, but his next question was a necessary one. "What is it that you want from us and the children?" There was no more time to waste pondering about the answer to that question.

"I don't want to take the twin's away from you. It would be wrong of me to even think about asking you to hand them over. By all rights, they're your children. You two have raised and nurtured them since they were tots and I envy you. All I want is the opportunity to have a relationship with both Naruto and Ino. If you'll allow it -if they'll accept me." Minato yearned for nothing more than the privilege of seeing the product that he and his wife had created and loved. He didn't know how things would go but he was hoping for the best.

Iruka and Kakashi shared a look that spoke in volumes before they again turned to stare at the expectant man whose eye's were brimming with hope.

Iruka decided to speak for the both of them. "Naruto is out of town for the next week or so and Ino is in school but, perhaps, we can work something out until then."

Minato's smile was blinding as he launched forward and pulled the two men into a tight hug. "Thank you! Thank you both so much." He hadn't felt so happy since he'd discovered where the twins were.

"No, thank you." Kakashi didn't know if he wanted to smile or frown.

It was going to be a long week.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**A/N:** And here is the long awaited fifth re-edited chapter.

Oh, I s'pose I should make things clear once more because some people are still a bit confused. You don't have to read this but you can if you think it'll help.

**Family Ties:** Naruto and Ino's birth Parents = Kushina Uzumaki and Minato Namikaze. Their last names are different because Kushina was a spitfire and she didn't take on Minato's last name. She's awesome, yeah... Kushina is _DEAD_ and Minato was _THOUGHT TO BE DEAD_ which is why the twins ended up in an orphanage (which is really your modern day foster care).

* * *

**Alright… hope you enjoyed the new chapter. If you dug it drop me a line otherwise, thanks for reading.**


	6. The Jokes On Who?

**Warning: **_Language._ C_heesy humor. Adult Situation. Lewd thoughts._

* * *

**WEARING ****A SKIRT IS LIKE…**

_Six: The Jokes On Who?_**  
**

* * *

"Shika, dude, where the fuck is Naruto? And why the hell are Sakura and Ino coming with us instead of that moron?" Kiba glared at the two girls in question through the rear-view mirror.

Personally, he wasn't fond of Sakura although he did like Ino (sometimes she reminded him of her brother and you could never go wrong with having two Naruto's around). But Ino wasn't his best friend. Because of that, Kiba was suspicious of her. He was positive that Ino was the lone reason for Naruto's absence because there was no way in hell that his best friend, his partner in crime, would miss their groups end of the summer getaway.

Naruto wasn't a pro when it came to calling people but he always answered his phone. Always. No matter the time or situation, Naruto would answer his phone or send a quick text. So it was odd that the guy had yet to answer or return a single phone call or text over the last week.

And Kiba certainly didn't buy the idea that Naruto was grounded. He couldn't remember the last time either of the twins had been grounded.

Something was just... very off.

Shikamaru shrugged, his dark gaze focused on the road ahead as he drove. "Ino says he's grounded so he must be grounded."

Of course, Shikamaru absolutely didn't believe that load of bullshit but he wouldn't let Kiba in on that minor detail. He wanted to have a nice drive there and that would in no way be possible with an outraged Kiba. And as soon as everyone was settled in their rooms, he would figure out why it was that his best friend was absent and in his place was his twin.

Shikamaru was trying his damnedest to enjoy the drive too but it was hard. Between Kiba's constant complaining, the bickering going on in the backseat, and his growling stomach, he could barely concentrate on driving.

And everything would've been different had Naruto joined them.

Shikamaru enjoyed Naruto's complex yet troublesome personality. Most people saw him only as Naruto's leash -he was the boy's caregiver and confidant as well but rarely did outsiders know or think that there was any more to their friendship. Naruto was smart and held a wisdom that Shikamaru greatly respected. For that, their conversations were never dull.

Most people wouldn't believe it if he told them but Naruto was mellow. The guy had moments where he could just lay in a grassy field and stare at the clouds... for the whole of a day. Naruto was the type of person that didn't need to constantly fill the silence with mindless chatter or ramble through a movie that he wasn't interested in.

But what Shikamaru admired the most about Naruto was the fact that he could speak outside of using words. Shikamaru liked the fact that Naruto not only put up with his lethargic lifestyle, he accepted that that was just Shikamaru's way.

So to say that it was odd to not have Naruto along for their trip was an understatement but Shikamaru intended to get to the bottom of that as soon as he had some down time.

Hinata smiled softly as she carefully touched Kiba's shoulder. "It's not the same without Naruto but I'm sure Ino and Sakura will be a nice addition." Her smile falter slightly with her next words. "I just hope he calls because we haven't seen much of him this month." Hinata missed Naruto as much as everyone else did.

Naruto had spent a great deal of time with Itachi over the summer, which was understandable considering Itachi's move but this vacation... it was supposed to be their last hurrah before their senior year started. It was saddening that he couldn't be there with them. It was disappointing that he hadn't called because that was very unlike him.

Still, Hinata couldn't keep the smile from her face as she thought about her dear friend.

Naruto had saved her from a lot of grief when they were younger and it was because of him that she'd found the courage to continue pursuing a relationship with her cousin, Neji. He was also the reason, as she'd found out, that Neji had later opened himself up to a relationship with her and her family.

To Hinata, Naruto was incredible and she was so glad that he'd stepped back into her life.

When Naruto had appeared at Allen Arts during their freshmen orientation, she'd made it her personal goal to re-friend him or, at the very least, repay him for all of his kindness during her awkward childhood. But when they'd met, he'd told her that no thanks was necessary and that he didn't think he'd done anything so huge but he was flattered.

Nevertheless, they became friends- were currently best friends even.

And Hinata missed him.

The trip felt a bit bleak without him but Hinata was determined to make the best of things.

It's what Naruto would have done were he in her situation.

Kiba scoffed, partly in irritation. "Knowing that asshole, he'll call us sooner or later and when he does..." He frowned as he thought about the verbal lashing he intended to give his idiot friend for either being a negligent friend or for allowing Ino (an amateur trickster of all things) to trick him.

And no matter what anyone else said, Kiba knew that this trip wasn't going to be the same without Naruto. Naruto completed their group. Plus, Kiba had always liked having someone around who was so much like himself. Even when they disagreed they meshed perfectly. They had the same taste in humor, music, the same brash mannerisms, and enthusiasm -sometimes people assumed that _they_ were twins.

In the last month, Kiba hadn't seen much of his doppelganger and he'd hoped that (though he would deny it if anyone asked) Naruto was going to be with them for the Miami trip.

"Can we make a pit stop? I'm starving and Shino's bug collection is giving me the creeps." Chouji shuddered as he gazed wearily in the direction of the large box of large insects seated between he and Shino.

"My children are not creepy." Dark eyes stared at the box lovingly.

Which only served to further creep Chouji out.

Shikamaru sighed and drove towards an exit, his mind drifting as he listened to the varying conversations surrounding him. For the nth time that trip he wondered why it was he'd allowed himself to befriend such troublesome people.

It was then that he realized it was going to be a very long trip, especially without Naruto there to back him up. And once they reached their destination, getting a hold of his best friend would be his top priority.

* * *

"Professor Momochi…" Blue eyes stared at the solid gold nameplate as Naruto stood outside of the office beside Haku.

Haku simply shrugged before he opened the door and walked inside pulling Naruto with him.

Blue eyes darted around the large office before they settled on the man seated rigidle at the desk near the window. Naruto's eyebrows very nearly shot into his hairline, head tilted to the side as he continued to stare. They hadn't knocked on the door and he was pretty damn positive that the man seated behind that desk was the Professor Momochi whose name was proudly engraved in the plate outside of the door.

But Professor Momochi didn't look like any teacher he'd ever seen before in his life. Matter of fact, the man looked like he belonged at a prison as either the inmate or the warden. Both seemed plausible. Maybe even a gym teacher would've suited the man because he looked ripped beneath his dress shirt.

And for an older guy, Naruto couldn't help but to think that the guy looked really, really, good sitting at that desk. Professor Momochi was kind of sexy... although he didn't look the least bit friendly or cuddly for that matter.

"What the fuck do you kids want?"

Definitely not friendly.

Haku smiled softly as he walked towards the desk. He felt rather giddy but that was always the case when he was around the man he intended to one day wed. "This is the person I decided to tell our secret to and you told me to bring my choice to you as soon as I picked one."

Dark eyes pinned Naruto to his spot. He resisted the urge to fidget beneath that narrowed gaze. "Um... yo!" Naruto was surprised he'd managed that much.

He felt like prey just standing there and being stared at by a hungry predator. And not the delicious kind of prey either.

"Of all of the fucking little shits that you know, you chose the loud mouth Hatake girl?" Zabuza's hard gaze shifted towards Haku. "Remind me to never let you make choices for yourself because you're fucking horrible at it."

Ouch... Naruto had never felt so insulted on behalf of his sister and he hoped it showed all over his face. That, and the fact that he was surprised that this person was the man that Haku loved.

To each his own. Naruto was a firm believer of that but Zabuza and Haku... they were such an unlikely pair.

"Say cheese Naruto." Haku laughed softly as he raised his cellphone and snapped a prize worthy picture of Naruto's gorgeous surprised face. Once he saved it in his phone's archives, he returned his attention to his irate lover. "I should tell you that this isn't Ino, it's her twin brother, Naruto. They've switched places for reasons that don't concern me so what better a person to tell than someone who will only be here for a short amount of time. Don't you agree Zabuza?"

"I suppose that'll do." Zabuza carefully studied Naruto, his face softening just a bit. "Hey kid, how's Kakashi?"

Naruto smiled a bit at the mentions of his father. "He's doing alright I guess. I mean, last I saw him he was the same old pervert." Speaking of perverts... wasn't there supposed to be a problem with his current situation?

Zabuza seemed like a decent guy, how could he not be one if he knew his father. But if Zabuza did know his dad and his dad was an old man who only had old army buddies, wouldn't that make Zabuza kind of old? Or rather, twice Haku's age at the very least? And something about that was supposed to be fucked up... at least according to society.

Naruto wasn't one to judge and that wasn't going to change, at least not until he had all of the facts.

"He still carries those damn books around?"

Naruto laughed, his mind momentarily removed from the possible problem at hand. "Yea. He owns the whole collection because my grampa writes them."

Zabuza chuckled, the sound gruff and resonating. "Next time you see him, tell him that Zabuza still wants that rematch and he'll know what you're talking about." His gaze then shifted to Haku. "Alright, I approve. Now you two can get the hell outta here. Go do something useful with yourselves because I have work to finish. Especially if _you_ want to see me tonight."

Haku smiled before he walked over to Zabuza's side and kissed the man at the corner of his mouth. "Then I'll be seeing you later." He turned towards Naruto who was attempting to look like he wasn't looking and doing an awful job at it. He grabbed the boy's arm. "Come, Tenten is expecting us." He pulled Naruto from the office and all the way to the hall. "So?"

A slender blond brow rose. "So what? You were telling the truth and I applaud you." Naruto smirked as a slight crease formed in Haku's brow. It was the first negative expression that he'd seen out of the boy since they'd met.

"Then you don't have any questions for me?"

Naruto grinned. "Oh I have questions, a lot of questions but-"

"We mustn't speak of such things in the hallway. Of course." Haku smiled as they continued to walk. He was glad he'd chosen the proper person to keep his secret.

"Well... there is one thing that I need to know right now or it'll drive me fucking insane." Naruto moved closer to Haku, one arm wrapping around thin shoulders. "How old is he?"

"24."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Naruto took a step back, his bright eyes wide as he stared at Haku. "You're shitting me." Apparently, it didn't matter whether or not he had an answer to that particular question because even the answer was going to drive him crazy.

"I shit you not. But I shall answer anything else when it's just the two of us because we seem to be drawing quite a bit of attention to ourselves."

Blue eyes quickly skimmed over the hall and yes, people were indeed loitering in the halls and staring at them. They weren't even hiding the fact that they were eavesdropping.

"Yea... my bad." Naruto allowed his arm to be linked with Haku's as they continued their trek down the hall.

"Not a problem. We'll finish our conversation when we're alone because I have a few questions that I'd also like answered. How about a lunch date? Does tomorrow work for you?"

Naruto cocked a brow. Haku had just asked him out… after introducing him to his boyfriend… "_He_ won't mind?"

Haku smiled gorgeously. "We're in an open relationship of sorts, it keeps life interesting. So, what will it be?"

Naruto shrugged, a grin blossoming on his face. "Sure and, ya know what, I think we're gonna end up being really good friends."

And Naruto thought for the first time since he began his stay at GPA that his week was starting to look up.

* * *

**_"MOVE YOUR ASSES!_****"** Sharp onyx irises narrowed as they studied the group pushing themselves to run around the track in a timely fashion.

Sasuke sighed agitatedly as he shifted his weight to his other leg. With the current performance of his team, he was beginning to doubt their placement during the finals. They had managed to maintain rank for the last three years but just barely and under his watch, barely wouldn't cut it. And he wouldn't have had anything to worry about when it came to basketball were it not for the Allen Arts Academy. The same high school that his brother had so proudly attended was now attempting to reclaim its title at the top of the high school basketball throne.

It was a title that his brother had claimed for them all four years of his attendance at Allen Arts.

And it was a title that Sasuke intended to grasp for his third year in a row to ultimately shatter any remaining pieces of Itachi Uchiha's high school basketball legacy.

Many believed that it was in Sasuke's best interest to break away from or surpass his brother's well engraved mark on the world. They thought his every action was an attempt to do just that. But, if anyone ever gathered the courage to simply ask Sasuke about his life in relation to his brother, he would tell them that he simply enjoyed what was now a friendly exchange of challenges between brothers.

Sasuke held no interest in gaining his father's favor or approval -he didn't give a shit if that man paid attention to him or the things that he did in his life. But he did care about Itachi's thoughts because, sadly, his brother was much more of a father figure in his eyes (though he would never admit as much aloud).

Thus, their bouts of brotherly competition were only a means to allow Sasuke to test his own limits and abilities. And what better person to measure oneself against than the man he aspired to be like: his brother.

Sasuke intended to make a name for himself and if his brother stood in the way, he would have no problem simply walking around the man before racing towards the finish line. There was no longer the overwhelming urge to barrel through or crush Itachi in order for him to establish his own existence.

He shook the thoughts from his head and stared at his team. "Still not good enough but…" Sasuke watched as the pace of the group slowly but surely continued to increase. Perhaps they had hope yet. "**_ALRIGHT LADIES!"_** Everyone slowly came to a stop, their attention directed at their fearless and stoic leader. **_"WE'LL PLAY A FEW PRACTICE ROUNDS SO THAT I CAN ASSESS YOUR SKILLS!"_**

* * *

Naruto paused outside of the opened gym doors, his eyes trained on the guys running up and down the basketball court. "Hey, what's going on in there?"

Haku glanced into the gym. "Ah, the boy's basketball practice."

"I thought we didn't officially begin practice yet."

"Well, all of the male sports always begin at least a month before school starts and they continue throughout the entirety of the year as not to allow a decrease in anyone's skills. The girls have always chosen to start practice once they've discovered who their leaders will be, which generally happens during the first week of school, however, they also practice throughout the year for the same reasons. That being said, you'll probably begin practice tomorrow." Pink lips upturned as brown eyes stared at Naruto. Haku did enjoy the varying expressions that crossed the boy's face. In that, he was just like his sister.

"So tomorrow is an actual practice?" It'd been three years since Naruto had last played high school basketball but he wasn't awful at the sport.

"Correct. And you'll have the very rare privilege of working with Sasuke considering you two are co-presidents and also both captains of a basketball team. You'll be working with Gaara, sports vice-president and captain of the football team, as well as Neji, captain of the soccer team and head of scheduling. The four of you among six others will work towards bettering our sports program."

Naruto snorted. "Is there anything that those three bastards don't have their hands in?"

Haku smiled. "No. Neji is president of student council, Sasuke is vice-president, and Gaara is treasurer. From there, they moved into quite a bit else." He easily slid his hand into Naruto's and tugged. "We should go. Tenten tends to get angry if kept away from her food for too long."

Naruto smiled, his gaze torn between the gym and the lovely Haku who he sorely wanted to follow to places other than the cafe (the boy just had that type of appeal). "Can I stay and watch them practice for a little bit. I mean, you can go ahead and just tell Tenten that if I'm not back, to grab me something to eat and I'll pay her back." Cobalt irises again strayed towards the gym where the team was practicing.

The Garden Private Academy Hawks looked amazing practicing and they were a damn good team if he did say so himself. But they weren't as good as his school's team. Sure, they'd won the championship twice in a row but Shikamaru was currently captain. Naruto knew better than anyone that Shikamaru was a tactical genius and no one stood a chance against him.

But it wouldn't hurt to check out the competition.

"Not a problem, _Ino._" Haku gave Naruto a fleeting glance before he released his hand and continued on his path towards the cafeteria.

He wouldn't bother to tell Naruto that bystanders had long since been banned from watching or attending practices. It was strictly prohibited on account of the lack of self-control that the student body held. They tended to be a _distraction_, if Haku were to phrase things lightly. He'd bared witness to several skirmishes and near riots as males and females alike tried to rouse the attention of the players in some of the most outlandish ways.

Disregarding all of that, he would find joy in allowing Naruto to discover such a thing on his own.

At the very least, Haku would enjoy himself when next he decided to lounge in the student council office.

* * *

Naruto watched intently as Sasuke guided the ball down the court, his agile body twisting and weaving between and around everyone who stood between him and the basket at the other end. From Naruto's vantage point, he could clearly see the muscles of Sasuke's taut torso expanding and contracting as the boy pushed himself onwards.

And it appeared as though Sasuke was the only one on his team of "skins". Playing against his entire team... the cocky bastard.

All of them were trying their damndest to steal the ball from Sasuke's graceful hands or, at the very least, slow him down, but they were failing. Sasuke was elegant and fluid when he moved. He never missed a beat as the ball thudded against the ground and followed his expert lead. He never slowed down or hesitated as he lifted the ball, flicked his wrist, and watched as the ball sailed across the air and into the hoop.

Naruto felt as though he'd seen that particular scene play out several times before... he had. He'd watched Itachi play and he'd been roped into basketball his freshman year when Itachi was captain so he knew how the man moved. Sasuke reminded him of Itachi -only, it appeared as though the younger Uchiha prodigy actually enjoyed the game whereas Itachi had only played to dominate yet another one of life's many pleasures.

It came as no surprise that the man had managed to reach god status in the basketball world much as he did with everything else.

Sasuke wasn't too far behind overtaking all that consisted of Itachi's legacy. And he looked gorgeous whilst doing so.

Naruto's musings were interrupted when a pair of midnight black irises met his gaze. He'd been caught staring.

Sasuke stopped beneath the hoop to catch the basketball in his hands. "**_I want all of you to take a break before separating into four teams of six or seven and then wait for me to give you further instruction. We have a lot of shit to do before I start sorting you all._**" His eyes didn't stray from the blond leaning against the gym door. "**Get to it!**" Once everyone dispersed, Sasuke headed in Naruto's direction.

Naruto allowed his eyes to freely sweep over Sasuke's exposed torso (because there was no harm in just looking) as he wondered what the hell it was that Sasuke was doing. As he stared, he decided that he envied the Uchiha gene pool. That particular lineage tended to create beautiful babies that grew into gorgeous people -Sasuke wasn't exempt from that rule. He had a certain appeal, almost like Itachi's yet not quite... a certain charm perhaps? Naruto couldn't put his finger on it.

"What are you doing here Ino? You know the rules." Sasuke paused a foot or so away from where Naruto stood, a smirk pulling at his mouth.

Naruto scoffed. "I can go wherever I please." Because Sasuke would be the last person he'd allow to dictate his actions.

"Hm... Did you need something then or did you just come to watch me play?"

Naruto snorted. "After all of the bullshit you put me through today, you think I'd actually come down here just to watch you do anything?" He mentally cursed himself. He was supposed to be his sister...

"I've had to put up with your bullshit for three years and you couldn't handle one day?" It was the truth. Sasuke had dealt with Ino's stalker-ish behavior for a long time without doing anything and only because she was kin to Naruto -who was standing right in front of him.

"Yea... well..." Because Naruto couldn't deny the logic in that. "I'm a different person now."

"I'll believe it when I see it. Which brings me back to my initial question: are you here for a reason or just to watch me play?"

Naruto almost laughed but resisted it. "Don't flatter yourself for one thing. For another, what the hell would I need from you?"

A dark brow rose as Sasuke stared at Naruto, his dark eyes twinkling with mirth. "You're the captain of the female team as well as the female athletics president and I am your equal on both accounts. It would make sense if you needed my assistance with something. Or you're just here to watch me practice."

"Fine! I'm watching you practice. Sue me!" Naruto shrugged, it didn't matter to him if Sasuke knew that he was watching. The bastard probably expected "Ino" to watch him practice as it was. "You look pretty good out there Mr. One-Man-Team but you guys are gonna need more practice as a team if you expect to beat the Bangles this year." Naruto was rooting for his team to win after all, one of his best friends was captain, but it never hurt to watch a good match, which was exactly how things would go down if Sasuke played his cards right.

"What makes you think that they'll have a shot at the title this year?" Sasuke was honestly curious.

"Well Shi-" Naruto caught himself. He was supposed to be Ino... "My brother's friend Shikamaru is captain this year and if you know him-"

"I do."

"Then you know that he's a tactical genius."

Sasuke did know that but he was looking forward to playing against his old friend. Naruto, of course, didn't need to know that. "We'll see how well his genius works against skill. Speaking of, I've wasted enough time with you. We can finish talking tomorrow."

Naruto's face scrunched. "Tomorrow? Now you want to talk to me."

Sasuke smirked. "Tomorrow at six in the morning the sports captains have a meeting with the athletics presidents so make sure you're here on time."

And before Naruto could respond, Sasuke was already jogging back to his team.

"What a prick... walking away before I could say anything. Who does that?" Despite his slight irritation at the fact that Sasuke had walked away, Naruto couldn't wipe the smile from his face.

Sasuke... was sexy. And he'd been reminded of that particular fact a few moments ago. If circumstances were different, Naruto couldn't help but to wonder what would've became of his rivalry/friendship with the arrogant Uchiha heir. From what he remembered, Sasuke was a stuck up prick but after their first and only real fight, they'd been friends of sorts.

That aside, Sasuke had actually talked to "Ino" without belittling her so it seemed as though he was making some progress on his sister's behalf.

If only he knew the truth.

* * *

"What are you thinking about Kashi?" Iruka watched with mixed emotions as Kakashi sat on the couch across from their photo wall. It was a hobby his husband had taken to over the last few days.

"Our kids… they're wonderful aren't they Ru?" Kakashi didn't bother to glance at his husband, he could visualize the expression on the man's face.

Iruka carefully seated himself beside Kakashi, his hand sliding into his husbands. "Yes, they're both amazing. Do you remember the day that they became ours?"

Kakashi smiled, he would never forget that day.

"Or our first Christmas with the twins? Everyone was here that day and I'm positive Naruto and Ino had every toy, book, and outfit made for two year olds."

Kakashi's smile broadened as his gaze strayed towards one of several photos from that very Christmas. In the picture he chose to focus on, the twins were drowning in a pile of presents.

"They're ours Kashi and nothing will ever change that." Iruka slow moved onto his husbands lap, one leg on either side of the man as he stared into grey irises. Soft lips tenderly touched Kakashi's temple before Iruka smiled. "Nothing at all."

Kakashi nodded as he wrapped his arms around Iruka's lithe waist. "I know." His voice lacked its usual conviction and confidence but Kakashi was hoping, for their sake, that Iruka was right.

* * *

Naruto glared at his cellphone before he placed the device against his ear. As soon as it stopped ringing he spoke. "_Hey, is this Shika?_"

He'd recently realized that _someone_ had tampered with his phone and they'd re-arranged all of his contacts or had entered the wrong phone numbers all together. Several numbers in his contacts list had been horribly bludgeoned and butchered, which explained why he'd been receiving so many phone calls from "unknown". And Naruto was pissed.

"Naruto?" Shikamaru sat at the edge of his bed and was glad that Kiba had left their room. At least for now. Naruto sounded agitated and Kiba would've been agitated and everything would've been troublesome. It was better to figure everything out before telling everyone else.

_"Dude, Shika, I'm so glad to finally here your voice. I'm sorry it's been a while but someone fucked with my phone and every time I tried to call you I'm pretty sure I've been calling some random prick."_

"That explains why you haven't been answering anyone's calls." Because everyone knew, Shikamaru in particular, that Naruto didn't answer calls from unknown numbers, not after the senior prank from the year before. at least he now knew why there'd been a lack of communication.

"_Yea... what the hell are you doing? I miss you and I feel like we haven't talked in forever."_ It'd only been about a week but that was a week too long in Naruto's opinion.

Shikamaru glanced at the door that joined the room he shared to the room the girls shared. "I'm contemplating checking on your sister and Sakura. They've been arguing over the same closet for at least a half an hour and it's getting rather tiresome to listen to." A sigh fell from his mouth as he returned his attention to the conversation at hand as opposed to the argument next door.

He hoped that this wouldn't be the basis of their trip: Sakura and Ino arguing, Kiba complaining about Naruto's absence, and Chouji complaining about Shino's bugs.

There was a long pause before Naruto again spoke. "_What the fuck is Ino doing with you? I thought she went to Miami with Sakura and her family?"_ His tone was acidic but he was confused. Naruto wanted to know what the fuck was going on.

Shikamaru bit back a sigh. He knew something wasn't right about Naruto being unable to attend their trip so he was as much at fault as Ino for not digging further but... "We've all tried to call you on several occasions and when that didn't work, sometimes we'd just show up at your place but you were never home. And one day Ino answers the door and says that your grounded. We didn't exactly think she was lying because you weren't answering your phone. I told her to tell you about the plan for the Miami trip but she said you couldn't go because you were grounded. When she asked to go, I didn't see a problem with it... and I was kind of pissed because you'd been rogue the last few weeks. Sorry man." Aside from all of the heavier stuff he'd mentioned, Shikamaru couldn't stop the small smirk from forming on his face.

Ino had pranked them all but mostly, she'd tricked Naruto in the best way possible and it was rare for someone to pull one over on Naruto -the prank king.

"_First, Shika, dude, I love you and I'm sorry I sucked at being a friend this last month but Itachi's moving to Europe for six months mid September and he guilted me into hanging out with him, which, granted is an awful excuse so... yea. I'm sorry man. I'll make it up to you as soon as you guys get back." _

"I don't doubt that you will and all is forgiven." Shikamaru could never stay mad at Naruto, not many people could. Plus, when the guy said he'd make something up to someone, he did one hell of a job fulfilling that promise.

_"Good!" _Naruto's tone entirely changed as he thought about his sister. "_Secondly, where the fuck is Ino at right now? That bi- brat tricked me into being her for the next week and that's fucked up. She tricked me out of a trip that I could've gone on and she wasted the rest of my summer... fuck! Where is she?"_

_"_Hold on." Shikamaru stood and walked over to the door that connected his room to Ino's. He knocked and waited patiently for one of the girls to answer. Lucky for him and unlucky for her, Ino answered with a smile tugging at her pink lips.

"What's up?" Ino's smile faltered a bit when a cellphone was thrust into her hands.

"It's your brother."

Aqua eyes widened as Ino put the phone to her ear and the last thing Shikamaru heard before the door shut in his face was an outraged "what the fuck!"

Shikamaru shrugged and walked out of the room his head twisting as he glanced down the hall and spotted both Kiba and Hinata heading in his direction. It was best if he told them about their missing in action best friend first and he'd finally be able to put their worries to rest. Most of all, Kiba would finally stop bothering him about it.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**A/N:** And so you now know what Ino is off doing... ain't she a stinker. And Naruto may just be pissed off... very, very, pissed off. And I haven't updated this in forever so all you are probably pissed off too. I swear I'm getting there.

* * *

**Alright… hope you enjoyed the new chapter. If you dug it drop me a line otherwise, thanks for reading.**


	7. Hatake Family Interlude

**Warning: **Flashback chapter. WAFF (Warm And Fuzzy Feelings for those of you who don't know).

* * *

**WEARING ****A SKIRT IS LIKE…**

_Seven: __Hatake Family Interlude_**  
**

* * *

"Why are you being skittish? I'm sure we'll do just fine." Kakashi grabbed his lover's hand and led the man away from their car.

Iruka frowned and casted his husband a sidelong glance. "What if we get denied? Have you thought about that? We're twenty-four, Kakashi... Twenty-four, newlyweds, fresh out of college, and you just got a promotion. What are the odds of the two of us being able to adopt?" He didn't understand why Kakashi was being so difficult and making things more complicated than they needed to be.

In Iruka's opinion, they needed more time -just a little more time.

And since when had he and Kakashi traded positions on the subject of starting a family?

Originally, Kakashi had been the one who suggest that they wait to adopt and now he was gung-ho and ready to put the plan he'd initially rejected into action. Iruka wanted to know what had changed?

What made the man who was so insecure about becoming a father suddenly ready for the task? Especially considering that now was a better time than any other for them to wait a year or two.

Kakashi's promotion was the main incentive for waiting it out at least one more year. He'd been promoted a week before their graduation and his new position... it was going to drag them all across the globe. Did they really want to bring a child into that kind of environment? Did they really want to raise army brats? Iruka held the firm belief that no adoption agency in its right frame of mind would approve of them bringing a child into such an unstable environment.

And fuck if he wasn't ready to be rejected.

No one wanted to have their lifelong dream so easily denied.

That aside, Iruka had already told his hard headed husband about all of his concerns. He wanted a stable home -a place where their children would forever be able to return. They couldn't have that at the moment and he didn't want to bring children into that. Kakashi's job was literally going to take them all across the globe without much notice before hand and how would the children feel about that.

But Iruka could only blame himself and his taste in men because that was always the one factor that hindered his life goals.

Why had he fallen in love with a genius? Why had he fallen so hard for a man who excelled at everything he did or attempted to do?

Because that same man had used his beautiful mind to capture him. Now he was trapped. And he would have to pospone his plans of starting a family.

"Ru, baby, love of my life... calm down. We can do this. We're more than qualified to do this." Kakashi smiled and pulled Iruka into his arms. "Trust me." Because that was all there was to it -trust.

He wanted to give Iruka the word and if a child was what the man wanted, then a child was what his darling would get.

Honestly, Kakashi couldn't imagine loving anyone more than he loved and cherished the man that he was currently holding in his arms, not including whatever children that he would come to have with his dearly beloved. He was entirely prepared to love and be loved by whatever child they chose to bring into their lives. He wanted to be the father that he'd never had and he wanted to do so with Iruka by his side.

Kakashi was ready.

"Fine! But if our application is denied, I invoke the right to say 'I told you so' and you will become fairly acquainted with the couch for the next month."

"And if we end up leaving here with a document that grants us the privilege of bringing a child home, prepare to limp for the next month. It'll be as if we're working on creating our own little bundle of joy."

Iruka blushed a deep crimson as he allowed his husband to drag him up a flight of steps and into the large and looming government building in front of them. This was going to be the moment of truth, the one they'd been waiting and preparing for since the day they'd decided to wed.

Iruka knew that they'd only been together for a grand total of four years and they'd been married for less than a month but he'd known from the very instant their eyes met that he would be spending the rest of his life with Kakashi. And together they wanted a family. A child or two would make their union complete and their family whole.

Everything was as simple as that.

From the very beginning they'd established that they each wanted a family. Neither of them knew for certain how big they wanted their family to be but Iruka had liked Kakashi's idea of "just wing it". Of course, having a child or children took a lot more thought and consideration than that, this was something that they both knew well. A child would need to be cared for, nurtured, structured, and, most importantly, the child would need to be loved as though they were the very epicenter of their parent's world.

From a very tender age, Iruka knew that he was destined to be someone's and as he aged, that thought had never altered but his husband... Kakashi had never been sure about his potential to be a parent. He'd had no father when he was younger and his mother (bless her heart) had did all that she could as a single parent but she was by no fault of her own an example to follow by.

Kakashi wanted to be a parent but he didn't know if he could be a great father. He didn't know if he'd be able to love a child the way a child ought to be loved because he'd had no example of that during his childhood. And when he'd taken a parenting course with his lover, he'd been sorely disappointed when, for the first time in his life, he'd just barely passed. He hadn't understood how he was brilliant in all other aspects of life but child rearing left him clueless. That had made him unsure of himself as a potential parent.

But then there was one truly amazing thing about Kakashi's life and that was the fact that Iruka was in it. And Iruka was the only example needed in order for him to go about raising a child. Iruka was the one person who lay to rest all of fears pertaining to being a father.

After four wonderful years with Iruka by his side, Kakashi knew that they were indeed ready to begin their own family.

They were ready to be parents.

Iruka took a deep breath and squeezed Kakashi's hand. "Here goes nothing..." He hoped with all of his soul that this decision wouldn't turn out to be a mistake.

* * *

"Twins! Aww… lets go visit the Home with the twins 'Kashi." Brown eyes continued to scan the list of foster homes and orphanages but they kept returning to the spot on the paper with the listing of twins.

"Twins you say…" Silver eyes crinkled happily at the prospect of twins. Kakashi wasn't sure if he was ready for two children on their first try. He'd always assumed that they'd start with one and work their way up but Iruka- Kakashi would do anything for Iruka. "Twins it is."

Besides, Iruka would be paying him for it full considering he'd been right. They could officially adopt children.

Life was looking up.

* * *

"Hello gentlemen, what can I help you with today? Do you have anything specific type of child in mind or are you just browsing and feeling out your options?"

Kakashi bit back the urge to glare at the plump woman seated across from them. She spoke of the children as if they were all at a supermarket attempting to pick out meat products. Who spoke of a child in such a manner? He didn't understand how people like her ended up with a job like the one she held.

Iruka smiled politely as he squeezed his husband's hand effectively soothing the man's ire. "We're here to see the twins."

"One moment..." The woman glanced at her computer screen and after a few clicks of her mouse, her gaze returned to the couple. "You aren't the first couple who've come here with an interest in the Uzumaki twins. They've been here for about four days and several couples have expressed their interest but nothing has been finalized yet."

Iruka's brow furrowed. "They've only been here for four days?"

"Yes. They came into our custody at the beginning of the week."

"How old are they?" The age of the children didn't particularly matter to Kakashi but he was rather curious.

Dark eyes again flitted to the computer screen. They turned two three weeks ago but Naruto is older than Ino by about three minutes. Now, if you have no further questions then we can go for a brief visit."

Iruka nodded and stood before patiently waiting for the burly woman to wobble from behind her desk. When she finally made it, she led them down a long corridor of rooms, each room holding several children. But children were everywhere -running up and down the halls, in and out of rooms... Kakashi was awed. Soon enough, they paused in front of a door that was slightly ajar.

"Here we are."

"Hmm..." Kakashi peered over the woman's head to stare at two adorable blond toddlers seated in the middle of the floor playing with a pile of blocks and giggling.

"Shall we?" When the couple nodded she pushed the door open, a soft smile pulling at her cherry red lips as she stared down at the tots. "Naruto, Ino, this is the Hatake family and they've come to pay you a visit."

Naruto nodded as big blue eyes stared between the men before his gaze returned to his sister. '_Who are these men?'_

"Kay..." Ino's tiny brow furrowed in confusion as she too eyed the group wearily before staring back at her brother. '_I dunno but they don't look like mommy or daddy...'_

Iruka smiled brightly and took the first brave step into the room. "Hi! I'm Iruka."

"Yo! Kakashi at your service." And his heart melted when the twin's hid their adorable smiles. To think that he'd assumed Iruka would be the emotional one...

"I Naru." The boy confidently pointed to himself before he jutted a finger in his sister's direction. "Dat Ino." He stood from the floor before helping his sister and she promptly positioned herself behind him, one hand tightly grasping his shirt.

_'Naru, I want mommy.'_ Ino's aqua irises met Naruto's and she sighed when he grabbed her hand.

_'I know.'_

Iruka wanted so badly to squeal as the toddlers stood in front of him, their hands linked and large eyes wide. They were so precious and he just wanted to... "Naruto, Ino, how would you feel about coming home with us?"

He was probably rushing things but Iruka couldn't help himself. Everything inside of him was screaming that they were the ones, the perfect children for he and Kakashi. He didn't have to look anywhere else to be certain of that. And sure, he didn't know all of the details about their short history on the planet and he hadn't asked Kakashi for his opinion... their home wasn't child proofed yet either but damn it, Iruka knew that Naruto and Ino were meant to be his.

His heart and soul knew with absolute certainty that the two beautiful children standing in front of him were destined to belong to him.

"Home?" Ino stared at the two men before meeting her brother's gaze. _'Why can't we go home with mommy?'_

_'Mommy's not home no more, member? The man sayy she was sleeping forever and had to go bye bye for a long, long, time.'_ He squeezed Ino's tiny hand lightly. He wanted to see their mommy just as much as his sister did but he knew... he knew that they were never going to see their mommy again, just like with their daddy. '_We could go home with them Ino... I think they nice.'_

Ino's little face scrunched. '_Kay... but which one is the mommy?'_

_'I dunno... the littler one maybe...'  
_

"You could both come home with Kakashi and I..." Iruka tried again hoping that the children would be at the very least slightly interested in his proposition.

Naruto smiled his best smile. "Kay." Because out of all of the couple that had visited, the two men in front of them were the first to **_ask_ **them if they wanted to do anything as opposed to telling themthat they'd be **_taken_ **home. As plus, they didn't seem like bad guys and they gave off the same warmth as their mother had.

"Well, Let's returned to my office and we can discuss this." The woman spared the twins a warm glance and a bright smile. "Don't worry Naruto, Ino, I'll be back later on." With that said, she ushered Iruka and Kakashi back to her office. She sat down and stared at her computer screen before staring at the couple opposite of her. "Are you interested in bringing home both of the children?"

"Of course! Why would you even have to ask that?" Kakashi was a breath away from saying something he might later regret but the woman's blasé attitude when it came to children was irritating.

"Most of the couples that have come by have only been interested in either Naruto or Ino, however, moving both of the children is my top priority. I would like to keep them together."

Iruka frowned. Why would anyone want to separate those darling toddlers? "Could we bring them home today?" He didn't want to risk losing them to another couple or their being separated. He couldn't fathom it.

"We'll you can't bring them home today but we can begin the process and ensure that they remain with you. I'll have to have you fill out the proper paperwork, a social worker will have to inspect your home... as soon as we have that settled, we can begin processing your information and in the meantime the twins can stay at your home, of course, that is if you pass the inspection. Give me a second..." She began to click away at her keyboard before a smile blossomed on her face. "And you're in luck today. I can have a worker sent to your home this evening and you should be done with the paperwork by the time she's ready."

"Of course!" Iruka was ridiculously giddy because they would soon be proud parents. His dreams.. all of his dreams were coming true.

"Before we begin that, I can tell you a bit about your soon-to-be children, if you'd like me to?"

Kakashi and Iruka exchanged a look. "Yes."

"Well... Naruto and Ino Uzumaki are the biological children of Kushina Uzumaki and Minato Namikaze. Their mother passed away a week ago and their father passed on prior to their birth. They have no known living relatives..." Her gaze moved back to the computer screen. "As you know, they're both currently two years of age and their birthday is on October the 10th. They're both incredibly intelligent and have no mental handicaps or behavioral issues..." She smiled softly at the pair across from her. "In my personal opinion, they're just delightful and they deserve a nice home."

"We would love to give them a nice home as soon as possible." Iruka's hazel irises were soft as his mind entertained the idea of twin toddlers running about the house.

He wanted to cherish them.

And he would do just that -he and Kakashi.

"You're both positive about this decision?"

Kakashi smiled and squeezed Iruka's hand. "We are."

"I'm glad. We can now official begin the adoption process."

And thus Kakashi and Iruka began the preparations to finalize their family. They were excited and afraid of the new and sudden change but what new parents weren't the slightest bit afraid. They would cherish, love, and raise the twins to the best of their ability and they would hope that that would be enough.

* * *

"Shh… they're coming up the walkway now."

Everyone in the house quieted as people peaked between the blinds to watch the newlywed couple and the two new additions to their family walk up the sidewalk. Tsunade's golden irises lit up as the two children stopped, big grins lighting their gorgeous little faces. The two toddlers let go of their parent's hands and ran over to a pile of leaves, they paused sharing a look before happily jumping into the large pile. Tsunade grinned widely before she took a picture of such a precious moment -one that would one day morph into a fond memory.

Anko pulled the curtain open a little more so that she could watch the happy family as they all ended up playing in the leaves. "My, my… they certainly are adorable." Everyone took turns voicing their agreements before quickly moving into their hiding spots.

Tsunade and Jiraiya had taken the time to plan the perfect "Welcome To The Family" party and they'd managed to bring all of Iruka's and Kakashi's closest friends together for the occasion. Even Genma, Raido, and Asuma had managed to clear the day on their busy military schedules in order to come and support their makeshift family. And everyone had come baring gifts for the children.

They day was due to be an amazing one.

"Here they come!" Kurenai shut off the lights and quickly moved to her hiding place as did everyone else. A hush settled over the room as they listened to Iruka and Kakashi's arrival.

_"Ru, did our lights just turn on and off?"_

"_Don't be ridiculous 'Kashi. Just open the door before the children catch a cold."_

Everyone stifled their laughter as Kakashi did as he was told, thoroughly demonstrating who wore the pants in their relationship. The door slowly creaked open, Kakashi and Iruka ushering the twins inside. Before the happy family could so much as shed their hats and gloves, light flooded the room and everyone popped out from their hiding places.

"WELCOME HOME!"

Naruto and Ino eeped before they hid behind their parents legs. They wanted to know who all of the strangers in their new home were and why they were there.

Kakashi smiled softly as he turned around and scooped the twins into his arms. "It's okay hearts, these people are also a part of your family." His smile broadened when they simultaneously tucked their heads beneath his chin in an attempt to hide away from those in the room.

"Naruto, Ino, there's nothing to be afraid of. These are your uncles and aunts and they want to love you as much as we do." Iruka almost cooed when two sets of blue eyes glanced at him before curiously studying the faces of everyone in the room.

"And they all came with gifts. Look over there by the fireplace where your grandma Tsunade and your grandpa Jiraiya are standing -there's a whole table of goodies for you." Kakashi smirked when the two shot him a look before smiling at the twins.

Two blond heads maneuvered from underneath Kakashi's chin as they stared between the guest and the table overflowing with presents and food. "Treats?" Bright azure irises widened with delight.

"Yes, they made you lots of treats." Iruka smiled at his children. "Let's introduce you to your family."

Iruka took a moment to introduce the twins to their uncles, aunts, and "grandparents". Everyone crowded around the Hatake family to welcome the additions into the fold of their wayward family. None of them were linked by blood but their connections were just as strong and they would be sure to pass on the notion of family to the twins.

Naruto and Ino (though they were afraid at first) warmed up to the men and women crowding them. Love was thick in the air and wrapped around them like a warm, comforting, blanket. It all felt natural to them -almost as if things were meant to be.

Kakashi and Iruka finally had children and the twins finally had parents… they were positive that they were going to live a joyous life.

Hopefully.

Most likely.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**A/N:** Next chapter should be interesting, plus, it'll be a real chapter. Anyway, I'm sorry that this was an interlude but it was necessary. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed a glimpse at the twins past.

* * *

**Alright… hope you enjoyed the new chapter. If you dug it, drop me a line otherwise thanks for reading.**


	8. Not All Surprises Are Awful

**Warning: **_Language_. _Adult Content. Adult Situations. What a twists. Cheesy humor._

* * *

**WEARING ****A SKIRT IS LIKE…**

_Eight: Not All Surprises Are Awful_**  
**

* * *

"_You are so lucky that you're in another fucking state Ino… so lucky._" Naruto was pissed. No, he was beyond pissed and he wanted to fly to Miami and drag Ino back to New York by her ponytail.

"Just calm down and let me…"

"_Calm down_?" He hissed over the phone. "_I am _**calm**." There was silence as Naruto took a moment to regain himself before he again spoke. "_Fuck, Ino… You could've just asked me. You could've asked me and I would've said okay, but no, you didn't do that and this is really fucked up. This is the last time Ino… I swear I'm never gonna give you-_"

"Wait!" Ino gripped the phone. "Look, I… just let me talk, okay?" When Naruto didn't say anything she took that as a sign to continue. "I'm sorry I wasn't straightforward about anything with you for a while now but I thought you would've said no. I just…" She sighed and glanced around the room grateful that she was alone. "I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not. I'm tired of trying to uphold an image that has nothing to do with the current me and I've been tired for a very long time now. I wanted a fresh start this year and I'm sorry for using you to give it to me. I'm sorry for using everyone, your friends included."

Naruto sighed. "_Yea, well… why? Why'd you choose this point in time to 'change'? Why this trip? Why didn't you tell me sooner?_" He could've done something for her if he'd known how she felt… or he would've tried his hardest to help.

And she needed it.

It was apparent that the Ino everyone knew at GPA wasn't the Ino that he knew so he wouldn't have denied her if she came to him. They were twins for a reason. Which, in its own way, made the entire mess partially his fault as well. He should've been more attentive to what his sister was doing and her school life. As her big brother, Naruto knew that that it was his job to protect her –even from herself.

So they'd both screwed up.

Ino smiled to herself as she shifted on the bed. "Honestly, I didn't know how to change. I was _that girl_ for so long… But then, I figured you could give me a hand because you've always been good at just being yourself and, fuck… I envy you and a lot of the shit that you do Naruto. You don't give a damn about what other people have to say about you, you never give a damn about saving face. Sometimes I wish I could be more like you. I guess that's one of the reasons why I wanted to do all of this."

There was silence but, when Naruto spoke and Ino felt his smile. "_Ino… you're amazing the way that you are." _

"Lair!"

_"Well, you're a bitch at school but if you gave these people the chance to see the side of you that I see, I think they'd love you. And if anyone should be envied, I think it's you. All of the people at this place are fucking insane and it's amazing that you're still, well, any part of yourself. Seriously, you've accomplished a lot here considering how weird these people are."_

Ino laughed. "Yea… they are kind of odd aren't they?"

"_Odd is an understatement."_

Ino smiled. "At least there's never a dull moment. But next time we trade, you should let me go to your school. I hear the guys there aren't pricks or socially inept."

It was Naruto's turn to laugh. "_I don't know… you've been hanging out with Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, and Shino… you tell me._"

"Yea, well…" Ino thought about that for a moment and decided that it was probably 50/50 on both ends. "Speaking of the guys… that was another reason why I wanted to go on this Miami trip… I-" She bit her bottom lip. "I really, really, like Shikamaru."

"_What?_" Confusion rung out clear over the phone. "_You like that lazy ass? I mean, even I've crushed on him at some point or another but I would've never expected him to be_ **your**_ type."_

Ino smiled. "Me neither. It started last year, you know, because he was at our place every weekend and all of last summer…"

"_Actually, he's over pretty much everyday. Our place is like his second home."_

"I bet. But, yea… I like him. We talk from time to time and- I dunno. Something about his intelligence is really sexy, which is something you probably know already. Also, Shika is just gorgeous in general, ya know?" Ino's mind wandered as she thought about Shikamaru. He was as prime a catch as any of the top ringers at her school and she'd be an idiot if she didn't notice his luster.

"_He is great isn't he…"_ He knew firsthand all about how wonderful Shikamaru was._ "In any case, I'm not pissed anymore. Irritated, yes, but not pissed. So you make sure that you have enough fun for the both of us and you owe me so fucking much. I swear you'll be kissing my ass until we're old and wrinkled._

Ino laughed, voice soft and airy. Relieved. "Yea, yea... I'm forever in your debt."

_"Hell yes you are. Just... behave. I'll hold down the fort over here but for the shit you pulled, I'm doing things my way."_

Ino frowned. "Wait, you can't-"

"_I certainly can. You definitely have no say in the matter, not if you want me to stay here anyway."_ Because he was no longer bound to stay at Garden Private and Naruto didn't particularly care to stay for shits and giggles.

So it was his way or the highway.

Ino huffed and folded her arms over her chest, her expression stuck between a smile and a frown. "Fine, do what you want but don't completely debauch my reputation."

Naruto chuckled into the speaker. "_I don't think I can do it anymore damage than you miss I-molested-a-student-council-member."_

Crimson dusted Ino's cheeks and she nearly dropped the phone as she sat up straight. "Who told you about that?"

"_It doesn't matter. Look, I love you, have fun alright?_"

"Okay, love you too. And, I'm sorry again for-"

"_Don't worry about it. Just give the phone back to Shika and I'll make sure no one's pissed._"

"Fine." Ino smirked as she stood from the bed and stretched her legs. Aqua irises gazed at the door that separated their rooms before she nervously knocked. The door swung open and there stood a half naked Shikamaru with his hair out of its usual ponytail and dusting his shoulders. Ino flushed as she mumbled a quick apology and thrust the phone into his unsuspecting hands before promptly slamming the door shut.

A slender brow rose before Shikamaru shrugged and pressed the phone to his ear. "Naru?"

"_Hey Shika. I need you to do me a solid: please don't let anyone be a bitch about this whole Ino thing. I know she would deserve it but I'm not pissed and I don't think anyone else should be."_

"Already handled it. Now tell me, where the hell you are?" He was curious –about a lot of things if Shikamaru were being honest but this was at the top of his list.

Naruto sighed. "_It's a long story…_"

"I've got time. We have to wait for the girls to get ready before we go to dinner and you know how that goes." Shikamaru inwardly cringed at the thought of waiting for three women to get ready to go out –it was going to be a while.

"_Fine."_ Naruto started (with great detail) from the minute he woke up and was ambushed by his twin a few days ago and all that he'd been through since.

Shikamaru listened. He was just happy to know that Naruto was doing well and hearing his friend's voice was a bonus.

* * *

"FOOD! Thank god, I was starving!" Naruto smiled and eagerly snatched the bags from Tenten's hands as soon as she walked into the room. "Thank you!" He managed to mumble as he rifled through the bags.

Brown eyes glared in his direction. "What have you been doing for the last hour?"

"Oh…" He put down his burger and smiled innocently. "Well… I spent a little bit of time talking to Sasuke, I came back here because I was tired of being in that fucking skirt, and then I called Shika and found out that my sister is kind of a bitch but I still love her."

"So she set you up huh? The prankster got pranked… ha." Tenten sat on her bed and laughed at Naruto's expense.

"Yea… well… there's a first time for everything." And Naruto would make sure that it was her last.

Tenten shrugged. She was an only child so she didn't exactly know the joys and pains of being a sibling. That aside- "You actually talked to Sasuke?" Which was in no way a good thing.

"Yea. He told me to be in the gym for some meeting tomorrow morning and then we just talked about basketball or whatever." It wasn't anything special in Naruto's opinion sans the fact that Sasuke had actually _talked_ to his sister... or him posing as his sister.

"Not '_whatever'_ Naruto…" Tenten sighed, her dark eyes focused on Naruto's confused face. "I'm pretty sure that they know who you are and by they, I mean Sasuke, Gaara and Neji."

A frown tugged at plump lips. "Are you sure?" Naruto didn't know anything about anyone's normal behaviors at the school but Tenten did. And if she thought that they knew his secret already…

Tenten nodded. "Neji has probably known since the first day when he called you out. Not that he's said anything to me but I've known him long enough. And if he knows, there's no way that the other two don't…"

"Good!"

"Good?" She failed to see what exactly was 'good' about anything that she'd just said.

"Well, I would've been bored just being Ino all the time but since certain people know who I am, it gives me the chance to just be myself. Plus, being here has made me curious about some of the people that I used to know so that means I can catch up with them too." In the long run, it would save him a lot of trouble and help to further Ino's reputation. His sister would be seen with the popular boys and he'd get to be himself.

Everyone won.

A slow smile pulled at Tenten's lips. "You just have this all figured out don't you?"

"I always come with a back-up plan." Naruto eyed his nearly forgotten food before he dove in. He was starving and he felt proud that he'd avoided a potential crises.

Things were looking up.

* * *

A small yawn fell from parted lips as bleary eyes stared around an empty gymnasium. Making the transformation from boy to girl wasn't easy by anyone's standards. For one thing, Naruto hated that he'd had to wake up at 4AM for the sole purpose of making it to the gym on time. Showering, doing hair and makeup, getting dressed… never again would he complain about the pains of waiting for a girl to get ready.

Despite the fact that he'd risen before everyone else, he was still 20 minutes early.

And he wanted to go to sleep.

"Try to look alive."

Blue eyes blinked slowly. "Too tired to care. Is that coffee?"

Sasuke nodded before taking a sip.

"Can I have it?"

"Don't you mean, 'can I have some'?" Because truly there weren't people out in the world who just-

"No. I said it right the first time." Naruto sat up straight and yawned again. "Please Sasuke."

Sasuke didn't let it show on his face but he was entirely surprised and in his surprise, he handed over his cup.

Naruto smiled tiredly and uttered a quick "Thanks" before downing the contents of the cup. It was sweet… really sweet. Apparently, Sasuke liked a lot of cream and a lot of sugar. Just like his brother. "You Uchihas have a sweet tooth or something? Seriously. You all make coffee tastes like syrup."

Sasuke chuckled as he took the seat beside Naruto. "This is the way Itachi always makes coffee and I guess I'm just…" The sentence died off as Naruto's earlier words finally caught up to Sasuke.

Naruto noticed too and he waved his hand dismissively. "Last night Tenten told me that you three bastards probably figured out who I am so I figure there's no point in hiding it anymore. That being said, hey Sasuke, long time no see." A soft smile tugged at pink lips and if he weren't so tired, he would have outright laughed at the look that crossed Sasuke's face.

If he were being honest, Naruto was glad that he'd finally gotten a chance to break the ice. He'd wondered from time to time what Sasuke was up to and he'd heard enough about the guy from Itachi to feel like a piece of himself actually did know Sasuke. And no matter what he'd told himself when he'd first returned to New York and after meeting Itachi, Naruto had found that of all the people he hadn't encountered again, he'd kind of hoped to see Sasuke –just once. But that was a feeling he'd tucked far away because he was selfish and he didn't want to dwell on the what-ifs or missed opportunities that had passed him by over the years.

"You do a horrible job at impersonating your sister." Those were the first words that came to mind as Sasuke stared at Naruto, a slight smirk touching his face. He hadn't been expecting Naruto to ever out himself or at least not so soon but he should have and… well… it would make everything else a lot easier.

Naruto snorted. "Apparently." But he entirely blamed his sister for her lack of preparation. "When Ino gave me instructions she left out the part about being as psychotic as everyone else at this school. I still can't believe that she tried to attack you!"

Sasuke chuckled and it was a sound that Naruto had never heard from the boy before. "If _you_ can't believe it, imagine how I'd felt when it'd happened."

"True…" Naruto took a moment to stare at Sasuke, really stare at him, as he made mental comparisons of the current Sasuke to the one he'd known in his youth. This Sasuke seemed… happy. "You know, you're different than I remember." And he didn't mean it in a bad way. In fact, if he had the time to get to know him, Naruto had a feeling that he would end up liking this older version of Sasuke.

"I would hope so. And yet, you seem the same." Dark irises studied a curious face. Naruto still held the same air of life that he'd had when Sasuke last saw him and it had the same calming effect as it'd had back then.

"Should I take that as a compliment?"

"Take it as you see fit."

Naruto smirked. "And there's the sarcastic bastard I remember."

"You've certainly kept the loudmouth thing."

A smile lit Naruto's face as he elbowed Sasuke. "I'm glad you can finally take a joke. That stick, the one that was stuck up your ass, how'd you get it out?"

A scathing remark sat on Sasuke's tongue but died shortly after he thought about the question at hand. "A little unwanted advice goes a long way." Which was true.

Naruto nodded before staring out at the empty gym. "You know what I just realized?"

"What's that?"

"I don't know you anymore but yesterday I judged you, Gaara, and Neji and that wasn't fair. So, since I'm a man and I'm not afraid to admit when I'm wrong, I'm sorry." Apologizing wasn't something that Naruto found shameful so the words fell easily from his mouth. They were earnest and truthful.

A dark brow rose carefully and ebony irises stared intently at Naruto. "I think it's only fair then that I tell you the three of us knew who you were since you arrived and we were, to put it lightly, teasing you." Then again, if Ino were actually present and a part of their group his actions would have been no different unless she gave him reason to act differently.

Naruto didn't exactly know what to make of that particular information. Except for perhaps that he truly did fail royally at being his sister and he didn't exactly like to fail… "I was that obvious, huh?" Because if he were then he'd have to change something.

A small, barely noticeable, smile tilted thin lips. "No, you're just not your sister and anyone who knows you would be able to spot you."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

A response died on Sasuke's tongue as echoes from the remaining members began to fill the gym.

Dark eyes met blue and Naruto smiled. "Welp, look who decided to finally show. But um…" He chewed on his bottom lip because asking Sasuke to hangout sounded like a weird proposition to make but the curiosity was just nipping at him as it reared its ugly head and bit him with four years worth of wonder. "If you're free later on, we should catch up… or something." Naruto cursed himself for sounding like an inexperienced twit but he knew awkward when he heard it and that was exactly how he'd sounded.

Sasuke's mind hooked onto the '_or something_' proposition but he pushed it to the back of his mind. Hanging out… just he and Naruto… "I have student council after fifth period but you can come with me and then we can go grab a bite."

"Can we do it outside of the school so I can wear jeans and a t-shirt and just, ya know, be me."

Sasuke chuckled and nodded. "Yea."

A relieved sigh tumbled from Naruto's mouth. "Thank god."

* * *

"So… I owe you an apology." Naruto smiled a bit as he sat down beside Neji. "And before you ask why, it's for yesterday. You know. I shouldn't have judged you when I really don't know you so I'm sorry and I think we should start over."

Neji stared, eyes wide and jaw slack before he regained himself, his lips quirking upwards. "You were right to pass judgment. I should have told you that I knew your secret but you seemed intent to pretend." Which, admittedly Neji thought was cute considering that he knew the truth. "Nevertheless, I too apologize –for the teasing."

Naruto laughed softly to himself in hopes of not drawing any attention their way. "I accept."

The smile on Neji's handsome face stretched further. "Since we've both seen the errors of our ways, should we start over?"

"I like the way you think." Naruto stuck out his hand, face glowing. "Hi, I'm Naruto. It's nice to meet you. Again."

The coy smirk that pulled at thin lips was suggestive. "Neji. And the pleasure is all mines." He grasped Naruto's hand and kissed the top. It wrung a sultry laugh from the other boy, one that Neji had never quite forgotten.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were flirting with me."

Neji laughed, the sound strong and open. "You were never one for mincing your observations."

"Of course not." A smile tugged at pink lips as Naruto leaned on his desk, face resting in his palm. "How've you been Neji?" He knew bits and pieces from Hinata.

He knew that the two were getting along like siblings. He knew that Neji was happy and living. He heard things from time to time but he didn't know Neji. Not this Neji. Much as he didn't know the current Sasuke or Gaara. It seemed as though the world was out to remind him of that particular fact.

"I've been… really good. However, if you want details about the last six years of my life just as I'd like to hear about yours then we'd have to discuss it outside of class. Over lunch or coffee perhaps."

Naruto laughed softly into his hand as mirthful cobalt eyes stared into pale lilac. "You're so suave and it amazes me. But yea. I'm busy today but maybe tomorrow, if you're free." Talking to felt like talking to one of those friends who, no matter how long you were apart, once reunited it felt as though you'd never been apart to begin with.

It was comforting.

The smile that contorted Neji's face was warm. "Tomorrow is fine. For now, we should focus on T.S. Elliot."

Naruto groaned and stared at the paper in front of him. "Poetry has never been my thing."

"Didn't I tell you yesterday that I'd help you." It was less of a question and more a statement.

And yes, Naruto thought to himself, Neji had offered to help. Even if at the time he'd assumed that the boy was being sarcastic. Which was exactly why he would never again cast judgments before they were due.

"Thanks Neji."

"No thanks necessary. Consider it my way of helping towards whatever cause that you may be supporting." Only, it was just the tip of the iceberg in comparison to what he intended to offer Naruto.

* * *

Right before lunch was when his phone flashed, the screen lighting up and blinking 'Home'. Naruto had cursed his luck and disengaged from the drove of students to sneak into the courtyard for a bit of peace and quiet. He took a seat near the fountain, eyes scanning the perimeter before he answered.

"Hey papa!" His voice was full of genuine cheer. Disregarding where he was, he missed his parents –felt like he hadn't seen them in weeks as opposed to a few days.

"_Naruto! How are you? How's Miami?" _Iruka sounded as though he hadn't spoken to his son in months and Naruto knew without a doubt that he was being missed just the same.

Which made him feel awful about the lies he'd already pre-spun for their impending conversation about _his_ trip. "I'm good. Miami is awesome. Beaches, sun… guys and girls barely wearing anything at all… yea. It's great! How are you doing? Dad's not driving you insane is he?" Naruto smiled to himself with the thought.

Their dad was insatiable when it came to Iruka's affections and the only leash that kept him from constantly devouring his husband was the presence of his children. Even then, he was barely contained. But it was cute and their love was so pure... God… Naruto wanted to go home. He wanted to see his father's, to see his sister… hell, even the rest of his family he felt the need to see. It'd been a long time since they'd all been together and he just felt like seeing them.

It was just one of those days.

"_Your dad's behaving but __I just miss you and your sister… wanted to hear your voices."_ His tone was light and sincere –a bit strained as if he wanted to say more but wouldn't. Couldn't.

Naruto frowned. "Is everything okay? Are you and dad-"

"_No!"_ Iruka said quickly. "_No. Everything between your father and I is just fine. It's just… when you get home… I can't wait until you get home."_

There was a pause and Naruto didn't know if he was supposed to speak or not but Iruka quickly resolved the problem for him.

"_You know that no matter what I'll we'll always love you and your sister and that you'll always be considered our children."_

The frown on that tan face persisted as Naruto crossed his legs and shifted in his seat. "Yea papa but why… what's going on?" He was starting to worry and scenarios were filtering into his active mind, most of them unpleasant.

When his papa spoke again, the tension eased from his body immediately. "_You're graduating at the end of this year and I just… It makes a parent think about things. About when you guys were little and you needed us for everything and how soon you won't… you'll be your own person and I just-"_

Naruto laughed, relieved at the turn of the conversation and happy at the familiarity of the topic. His papa had always worried over their growth and ultimately the emptying of their nest. It was an endearing quality that Naruto sorely admired in the man. And he'd actually thought… well, it didn't matter what he thought because he'd been wrong and never in his life had he felt happier on account of being wrong.

"Papa, I'll always be your little boy no matter how old I get and I'll always love you. Ino too. Just because we'll be going away to college next year doesn't mean I'll need you or dad any less than I need you right now. In fact, we'll probably need you more." It was the truth.

Naruto depended on his parents for everything and anything that he could possibly need as their child. They were his confidants (no topic of discussion was taboo when it came to them), his mentors, his caregivers… they were his world because he wouldn't _be_ were it not for them. And for as much as he loved and respected his parents, Ino was the same. She was a daddy's girl through and through who, despite living away from home for school, made sure to return every chance she had. She also called no less than twice a day since she couldn't be there. Nothing in her life wasn't disclosed to them (and even this stunt that they were pulling now would eventually be told to their papa).

If their parents thought for a second that either of them would drift away on account of their going of to college then they were sorely mistaken.

Iruka laughed softly, the sound comforting and reassuring. "_You don't know how much you've made my day. But I won't hold you up any longer. I love you Naruto and make sure to call sooner rather than later."_

"Alright. Love you too! And tell dad the same." He could imagine his dad sitting somewhere near his papa with a knowing smile on his face.

Kakashi always attempted to subdue their papa's worries in regards to the future. Sometimes it worked but more often than not, Naruto knew that the man just needed a bit of reassuring from his children.

"_I'll be sure to tell him. Bye Naru."_

"Bye papa." Naruto ended his call feeling light and wishing to be surrounded by the comforts of home for a little while. When he stood, his gaze was drawn to crimson on the opposite side of the fountain and his legs moved of their own accord. "You must really like this spot, huh?" He cringed as the words fell from his mouth. It wasn't the best opener but it was better than nothing.

Heavy lids opened and pale green eyes stared into blue. "It's comforting… when I'm not being interrupted." Despite the words, Gaara didn't sound the least bit annoyed.

Naruto took that as a good sign. "About yesterday-"

"Forgiven. And the same to you."

Well… that was easier than Naruto had thought it would be. "Same here then. You do know that-"

"I do."

A smile tilted pink lips. "You're not one for words I take it."

It was Gaara's turn to offer a half smile as he sat up, knee brushing against Naruto's. "I'm a better listener."

Naruto's mind supplied him with fleeting memories that suggested that yes, Gaara listened far more than he'd ever chimed in. But it wasn't an uncomfortable attribute to be faced with and, contrary to the boy's appearance, he was easy to be around. From the way that people strongly admired Gaara from a distance, Naruto had a feeling that they knew that he was innately harmless. It didn't mean that he couldn't harm them –Naruto's memory did a fine job of supplying him with that information as well. Gaara was just a loner... much like Shikamaru.

"The world needs more people like you then." Cobalt eyes strayed towards the direction of the cafeteria. "Aren't you hungry?"

Gaara shrugged. "Not in particular."

"Oh I get it! You probably don't like how noisy the cafeteria is. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't remember you being one for crowds." Naruto grinned.

Gaara was surprised but it didn't show on his face. He didn't actually think Naruto would remember much about him but it was obvious that he was wrong. The boy still held onto minute facts and details that were worth forgetting (in Gaara's opinion).

"Hey, I'll go get us something to eat alright and then we can sit here as quietly as you want." Unbeknownst to most, Naruto enjoyed eating his food in silence. It gave him the chance to savor it and he didn't have to be mindful of manners and the like if people just let him eat.

"Thanks." Was what Gaara managed to say through his shock.

And Naruto continued to smile, eyes gemlike beneath the sun. "Consider this my payment for your help yesterday. Only, your food will actually make it to you."

At that, the corner of Gaara's mouth twitched upwards. "Still the same."

"So I've been told." It was in that moment that Naruto couldn't deny the small part of himself that was glad that he'd accepted to trade places with Ino.

One week wasn't long but it didn't have to be the end of whatever he made of the experience.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**A/N:** Fourteen months... and BAM! An update has finally arrived. I've been lucky enough to have a sudden burst of inspiration for this story and I'm excited. I missed this story and I'm just glad to have the umph to keep it going again. I can't promise regular updates or anything like that but I can promise that it won't be another year's wait for the next chapter.

With that, I hope it was enjoyable. I know it was short but it got me back into the groove of things and I'm sure the next chapter will be longer.

* * *

**Alright… hope you enjoyed the new chapter. If you dug it, drop me a line otherwise thanks for reading.**


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